Posted by cockeyed on July 11, 2005, at 23:36:37
In reply to just trying to understand..., posted by rainbowbrite on May 12, 2005, at 9:19:18
rainbowbrite, i just caught on to this thread and read your msg of 5/12/05. I'm an alcoholic who stayed pretty sober until very recently. Then I missed the fun. I'm an extremely repressed person, but a pint of cheap vodka...and I love the world. trouble is the world doesn't love me. I scare people. I yell at my wife...especially when i'm sobering up and she tries to park the car next to a fire hydrant.I damned if I think I can drink. I take a lot of meds and a pint leads to a quart...and I can't afford the cost. Damn I miss it. I found god in a bottle and it's a false god and I am having a really hard time maintaining so called normalcy. Sobriety...? Lord, I wish, just as I wish I could have a spiritual faith instead of a wasteland of dread and doom. I'm going to start a new thread about making a fool of myself at a little league game...And I thought I was having fun. Read my thrilling installment. But when I drink, I kill the bottle. Don't want to kill myself, but sometimes I get so disgusted and down that I know the bottle will give me an answer. Usually the wrong one. cockeyed.
poster:cockeyed
thread:496819
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/subs/20050602/msgs/526526.html