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MISERY » Declan

Posted by AMD on August 21, 2005, at 13:42:35

In reply to Re: drug testing for meth, posted by Declan on August 20, 2005, at 19:03:27

You're not being silly, you're being reasonable. I am assuming I did it -- and thus I'm worried that, because I feel so, so horrible right now, I did some permanent damage.

Let me ask you a question. Would doing methamphetamine -- and if I did it, it was likely a small amount, as I still collapsed from the alcohol -- cause long-term sequelae? I ask because I read a post from someone else who claimed he did it one time and, fifteen years later, he's still feeling miserable.

Right now I feel:

- Depressed, in the most extreme way
- Fatigued
- Cognitively blunted, and completely uncreative
- This obsessive need to keep rubbing the bottom of my nose
- A weird tic where I want to scratch my forehead

The first three are, I suspect, related to the depression. The other two are freaking me out. I can't rid myself of these tics. Is this dopamine depletion? Temporary? Are there medicines I can take to relieve me of this pain?

I am absolutely miserable right now. I can't imagine holding myself together much longer, and I feel like I'm on the verge of a mental and emotional collapse.

I need relief /now/. What can I do? Are there any over-the-counter supplements I could take to calm me down? I took Xanax last night, which didn't help at all. I have Zyprexa, but that just seemed to make the tics worse, without lifting the depression.

I look around and see all these happy people, laughing, walking down the streets of Manhattan enjoying a sunny, lightly humid day, and I realize how horrible I must look, how sad and depressed I feel. I just need some help right now.

I can't even write well. I feel like my (simple-minded) thoughts are spilling through the keyboard, and I'm convinced the methamphetamine is to blame. Did I drop by I.Q. significantly, and am I doomed to a life of mediocrity?

Finally, I feel "nuts." I really feel like I am going crazy. I am dignosed bipolar II (two doctors said bipolar I), and need some help.

HELP!


amd


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poster:AMD thread:543466
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/subs/20050722/msgs/544779.html