Posted by AMD on August 22, 2005, at 8:04:48
In reply to Re: MISERY » AMD, posted by Declan on August 21, 2005, at 16:19:23
Declan,
I'm upset because I know I can feel bright and normal, and I'm having a hard time believing that one more night of excess took all that away. Possible?
I was programming yesterday and thought, wow, my head is jumbled. I went to the gym, and afterward felt a bit better. This morning I woke up without the usual tiredness, but I still feel a slight fog. That said, I'm hoping the worst is behind me now.
It's been more than a week, so this is the longest I've had to fight the post-use blues in a long time. And the nature of this swing feels different. I am hoping my cognitive functioning will continue to improve, because although I've complained about it before, this time I truly feel impaired. Do I sound it? As I can actually see the results of it in decreased performance at work, blips in memory, and an inability to plan and execute a logical path.
Let's say I did methamphetamine: would that have killed off so many dopamine cells, or harmed my prefrontal cortex and/or hippocampus in such a way as to permanently inhibit my cognition? Why am I freaking out about methamphetamine? I know it's toxic in a way no other drug is -- at least according to the literature -- and I suppose I can't get that tidbit out of my mind.
I'm going to go running today, and I hope it helps a bit.
I also have a new doctor who specializes in comorbid bipolar and substance abuse.
Are mathematical/logic skills -- those on which I pride myself -- more hindered by this type of drug/alcohol use? What about memory? I feel like I'm having difficult with recall.
Am I annoying the f*** out of you with these questions yet? ;-)
amd
> Hi AMD
>
> I don't think methamphetamine's *that* bad (compared to psychdrugs), it was widely available for 30 years or so. But of course it's terrible stuff in the absolute sense.
>
> But it might not be the only thing depleting your dopamine, I think Celexa can do that or the equivalent. So Linkadge says anyway, maybe you've read his posts on that. I don't think you should take psychdrugs unless they really help you.
>
> (I'm taking Parnate for depression, about a 6th of the normal dose. That's OK because its a low dose and it does something useful.)
>
> I suspect you need a dopaminergic med that makes you feel a *little* better. And then you have to look after yourself and take as few drugs as possible. I mean maybe you are bipolar, but it is easy enough to go off to the doc and get diagnosed and treated with *those* drugs. No doctor is going to Rx you coca leaf, but I'll bet you anything it would be better for you than what you are currently on. Note I said coca leaf, not cocaine. There's a lot of politics built in to all this.
>
> But since you're not gonna get that why not read up on the use of low dose deprenyl, the liquid sort, deprenyl citrate 1-3mg/d. (I've taken it for years). And as for the other things, Celexa, Topomax was it, Zyprexa......only use them if you are sure they help you and use the lowest effective dose. Ditto Xanax, but it's a simpler sort of action.
>
> The only other thing I can suggest is to accept a certain level of misery as being part of life. ie you are aware of it but not affected by, at least not too badly.
>
> And if you feel awful all the time it's not so surprising that eventually you say bugger it, I wanna have a line and a couple of drinks. So you have to think what it is that you can do about that feeling of awfulness. But that's what we're talking about here, right?
>
> Anyway, good luck.
>
> Declan
poster:AMD
thread:543466
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/subs/20050722/msgs/545099.html