Posted by AMD on January 29, 2006, at 15:12:56
I fell off the wagon on Friday night, drank myself to blackout and ended up collapsing into bed at 2 a.m. with only a hazy recollection of the end of the night. I didn't use, at least.
All right: I slipped. But I'm not going to let it send me into a downward spiral. I was bored, went out and drank, thinking, "ah, it'll be fun," and now I'm paying for it.
It'd been about three months.
Now I'm back to my freaking-out-about-brain-damage-and-my-cognition phase, and sitting here depressed that I'll never be able to accomplish my goals. I feel like my planning and execution skills have diminished greatly over the past couple of months, and that this was the "capper." I can't analyze things like I could even one year ago, and I'm worried I've done permanent damage.
Is this going to haunt me for the rest of my life? With further absintence can I expect my cognition to improve once more?
I want to cry today from my inability to focus on even simple tasks, e.g, working on a small program. I feel like it's "gone," all my talent.
What do I do? Did this one night of drinking to excess cause permanent damage? I have felt zonked out all weekend, have been sweating today, and generally am very depressed. I think I'll make an appointment with my psychiatrist tomorrow.
The upside is that I feel, for once, like I have this more or less under control. I slipped, but I feel strong enough to move forward. I just worry, as I sit here focusing on my work, that at any moment I'll have a brain lock and be unable to complete my task, dominated instead by this depression and mental numbness. :-(
amd
poster:AMD
thread:604176
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/subs/20051211/msgs/604176.html