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Re: I am once again out of my mind...... » obsidian

Posted by ClearSkies on March 7, 2008, at 7:01:36

In reply to Re: I am once again out of my mind...... » ClearSkies, posted by obsidian on March 7, 2008, at 2:56:13

> I am smoking again
> I don't want to connect
> I don't like how I feel
> I tried to give my weed to my T, but he wouldn't let me do that, has to be me
> my nonexistent ego is fighting that, it's on strike
> it wants to disappear

Ah, well. That would be a relapse, and it's understandable in early sobriety (I use that term loosely for not using whatever substance it is that you used to use).
You can make the choice to put the weed aside and try again, or you can decide that you'd rather smoke. That's the nice thing about having free will. If it's making you feel like you lost a battle somehow with yourself, then perhaps you deserve to give yourself another go at not smoking.

But it's rather important to have something to fill the void - make some plans to fill the time and your mind. (That's why all those people go to meetings all the time!)

take good care,
ClearSkies


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