Posted by obsidian on February 8, 2008, at 20:59:01
my friend thinks I am "abusing it"....so I suppose that means that it is OK to use it, but not so much??
1)how much is too much?my pdoc said the pot is "not good for YOU", as in not someone with your proclivities toward depression and anxiety'
2)I say 'well damn...if I am high who cares if I am anxious or depressed??'
3) I have a real "f*ck it, I don't care type of attitude", so much of my inclination goes to the direction of continuing to smoke
what is that??I find myself thinking "I really don't think they need to worry...I think they (my T and pdoc) are over-reacting".
I know this won't be a big deal, and I think "isn't that nice that they care?" and I start to think I am letting them down, and like maybe I'm supposed to make some sort of choice...like change direction
but they don't seem to prefer that I stop smoking, keep smoking, or whatever...my pdoc is "well, you're going to get depressed", and my T is like "well, what is the plan going to be...like I am heading toward something (meaning a mental crash of some kind)
as if to say "well, it's your choice, but SOMETHING is going to happen"
but the truth is that NOTHING will likely happen, because I won't even be here(mentally) anymoreso that what they are saying couldn't possibly be true
and it feels like they are talking about somebody else they imagine me to bebecause I know it's no big deal, and that I will make it back to reality, just not yet
thanks for reading,
obsid
poster:obsidian
thread:811606
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/subs/20080104/msgs/811606.html