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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 4 of 4. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Racer on August 31, 2007, at 11:28:22
To see oursel's as others see us!
I quit group therapy last night. There were a lot of reasons for it, some I don't suspect my T would approve, some she might approve, and some it doesn't matter if she approves or not. (ie: another member whom I just can't tolerate right now; taking more classes and concerned about being able to keep up; and the cost. So, time and money issues, which are fine. And an interpersonal thing, which she'd probably like me to work through.) We didn't talk about it much during group, but at least everyone got to hear it from my lips, rather than after the fact from our T.
One woman, though, said something about me that shocked me. I can't remember the specifics, but she basically told me to stop worrying about my body, what I looked like. Of course my brain immediately went to, "Easy for you to say -- you're beautiful with a great figure..." But it was shocking to hear her say what she did, that the only lasting impression she had of me was that one thing: me feeling fat. I'm the biggest person in the room, by a long shot, and I can't stand it. Yes, I've said that, because it's easy in that room to feel even fatter than I usually do. And I'm so ashamed of how fat I am, I'm probably saying it first, before anyone else does.
Plus, of course, being this big, it seems ridiculous to be called "anorexic."
Anyway, it was a big shock to hear that, and I've been trying to take it in ever since. Has anyone else ever experienced anything like that? Hearing something from someone else that gives you a real gob-smacking about how others might see you?
Posted by Maxime on September 2, 2007, at 19:05:14
In reply to Oh wad some power the giftie gie us..., posted by Racer on August 31, 2007, at 11:28:22
I've never had that happen.
Was it group therapy for eating disorders? I stay away from those like the plague. I want to be the thinnest one there and that's all I can focus on. It defeats the purpose of therapy.
So has that's woman's comment helped you at all? Will you change anything?
Love,
Maxie
Posted by Racer on September 2, 2007, at 23:00:27
In reply to Re: Oh wad some power the giftie gie us... » Racer, posted by Maxime on September 2, 2007, at 19:05:14
>
>
> So has that's woman's comment helped you at all? Will you change anything?
>
> Love,
> MaxieHm... I probably will change something -- I won't talk about how fat and awful I am in front of her...
I don't know -- it's changed something about how I see myself, I guess. I didn't think about it before she said it, but I guess I do mention quite often that I'm the fattest person there, and feel as though I shouldn't be able to call myself anorexic because of it. And it is a very triggering place for me, because I want so very badly to be thin again.
Aside from feeling even more ashamed of how pathetic I am? Aside from that, I'm not sure it has changed anything...
It's good to hear from you -- but it would be better to see your name in my inbox...
xoxo
Posted by Maxime on September 3, 2007, at 18:10:00
In reply to Re: Oh wad some power the giftie gie us... » Maxime, posted by Racer on September 2, 2007, at 23:00:27
You are not pathetic,Racer. NO way!
I will send you an email soon. :) Sorry I have been down and out myself.
Love,
Maxime> >
> > So has that's woman's comment helped you at all? Will you change anything?
> >
> > Love,
> > Maxie
>
> Hm... I probably will change something -- I won't talk about how fat and awful I am in front of her...
>
> I don't know -- it's changed something about how I see myself, I guess. I didn't think about it before she said it, but I guess I do mention quite often that I'm the fattest person there, and feel as though I shouldn't be able to call myself anorexic because of it. And it is a very triggering place for me, because I want so very badly to be thin again.
>
> Aside from feeling even more ashamed of how pathetic I am? Aside from that, I'm not sure it has changed anything...
>
> It's good to hear from you -- but it would be better to see your name in my inbox...
>
> xoxo
This is the end of the thread.
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