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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 4 of 4. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by NZgirl on December 4, 2005, at 20:19:10
Hi. My younger brother committed suicide 14 months ago. It seems that I'm having more trouble coping now than I did a year ago. I just can't stop thinking about him. I break into tears at the drop of a hat. I also have chronic fatigue and its getting worse I think because of stress. I can't imagine that I will ever be happy again. I just cannot see a life of joy ahead of me. Is there anyone else who has lost a close family member in this way? How long will this last. I feel like my life has changed forever and will always be this way.
I've heard that the grief process can take about 2 years, but I seem to be getting worse not better. I'm having counselling, but it doesnt seem to help at all.
Posted by Fi on July 2, 2006, at 7:27:12
In reply to Suicide - coping with the loss, posted by NZgirl on December 4, 2005, at 20:19:10
I'm sorry you didnt get a reply, and dont know if you are likely to read this. I'm not someone who has a family member who committed suicide, either.
My brother died years ago, in an accident. Certainly, it does get to the stage when the memories are less painful, although of course they continue to be very sad and wistful. You will never forget your brother- its not a process like that.
2 years is a very rough estimate. It does 'fit' for some people, from the perspective of when it stops being quite so agonising. I think one of the points about it is simply to show that it takes a long time- some people expect you to be fine after the funeral! And after a suicide, it must be a lot worse.
So, basically, I'm not at all surprised that you were feeling that bad, and indeed you may still do so. Lots of sympathies. If you can just slog on, gradually things should get easier. But still with very sad times, and over ages. But still it can happen.
I believe there is some sort of support site (survivors of suicide or similar?) They might be worth checking out?
Fi
Posted by kerria on December 17, 2006, at 0:40:32
In reply to Suicide - coping with the loss, posted by NZgirl on December 4, 2005, at 20:19:10
I'm sorry that you're having so much pain now. i lost my f. and cousin through suicide. It's always hard i think because it changes us but there are joyful days too. i have DID and am aaaable to separate the pain away - live in other parts that don't hurt so much but there's no control over it- i can't switch when i want to or need to and missing a family member we love is so hard. In a way it never goes away but we have other parts of our life too and other family members that we love and love us that make things better.
Praying that you will have joy to replace the sadness- remembering the times you shared that were good and that were fun helps me.
i'm sorry that it's so painful now. Maybe after the holidays things will get better.Take care,
kerria
Posted by joaquin on November 6, 2007, at 16:48:03
In reply to Re: Suicide - coping with the loss, posted by kerria on December 17, 2006, at 0:40:32
I'm so sorry about your loss. Just two months ago I lost my best friend to suicide so I am still a bit new to this all and granted, losing a friend is not as traumatic as losing a brother but I can empathize a bit with what you are going through. Life has certainly "continued" since his death but none of us have really recovered. Some don't want to talk about it anymore but I've found that talking about it helps a lot. Keeping everything inside just makes it worse. I know most of the questions you have don't have any answers but ask them anyway. Above all, don't keep in to yourself. I'm convinced it's the only way for this wound to eventually start to eventually heal. So that's my advice for what it's worth. Keep your spirits up and be well.
This is the end of the thread.
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