![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 12 of 12. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by DaisyM on March 8, 2004, at 22:26:59
I (finally) had a really great session with my Therapist today. It isn't that he isn't always great, it is just that the subjects have all been so difficult and dark, that we *can't* joke about them.
Today was different because while we talk about some really meaningful stuff, it was so much lighter and better. We talked about seeing therapy as *just* support for awhile and not work. I told him that was very hard for me. I needed to feel like I was working on something because getting support felt selfish and way too "all about me." He laughed and said fine, If I insisted, he would give me tons of homework and ask really hard questions all the time and be a tough task master. I said at least I'd know how to get an A then!
At one point, he told me trying to get me to not do everything for everyone was like "trying to turn around the Titanic" (-- umm, did you just call me the Titanic? You know that boat SANK right?) We both laughed.
And, near the end, we talked about last week, when I was quitting therapy and we talked about how much better I felt after we talked on the phone Friday. He said he thought that the little girl in me was reassured that he hadn't given away my slots and that she was going to get to continue therapy. I told him I had her shut down for now, to please NOT to bring her out right now and he gently reminded me that she was always with me and that was OK. He was sweet and funny and I felt very safe and taken care of. Hmmm...maybe I'm getting the hang of this using therapy for support stuff.
So the hard part? ...tonight I miss him. Not in a transferencial kind of way...just in that "today was good" kind of way.
Know what I mean? Think it will last?
Posted by Fallen4myT on March 8, 2004, at 23:26:49
In reply to Good Sessions are almost as hard as the Hard Ones!, posted by DaisyM on March 8, 2004, at 22:26:59
Daisy I am so glad you had a more laid back session I get those now and then sometimes weeks of them and they seal the bond. Now granted I DO have it for my T but I also value him as a person and miss when I cannot see him cause he is caring and kind..really rather sweet as your T was today. Sometimes getting the WORK done is to take care of you by relaxing. So look at it as you will get an A in say MIND YOGA by talking to T without homework and hard work..He is smart and he will pull things and patterns etc from what you say no matter what. So it may not seem like hard work but that IS hard work to NOT be so goal focused and be YOU focused..if that makes sense...ANyhow I am sooo glad you had a restful kind of session. Just like when one is out with a good girlfriend and they day is over..we miss it..thats kinda how you feel right? If so me too a lot
hugs
Posted by Dinah on March 9, 2004, at 0:51:10
In reply to Good Sessions are almost as hard as the Hard Ones!, posted by DaisyM on March 8, 2004, at 22:26:59
Yeah, I do know what you mean. But I'll take that sort of difficult any day. :) It makes the other kind of difficult bearable.
Glad you had a good one. Now listen to your therapist, and take it easy for a while. You deserve some support.
Posted by fallsfall on March 9, 2004, at 7:03:28
In reply to Good Sessions are almost as hard as the Hard Ones!, posted by DaisyM on March 8, 2004, at 22:26:59
Daisy,
That was just what you needed. That *was* support - and doesn't it feel good?
Maybe you should use a picture of the Titanic for wallpaper on your computer... 8^)
Missing him is fine, it means he is taking care of you - did you notice that you liked that?
Sounds like the two of you will be able to work something out that is helpful to you - not too soft, not too hard.
Sometimes there are times when you just have to *be*. And not worry about the "A". Start small - take 15 minutes and sit someplace comfortable, take a cup of tea and try to notice how warm the cup is, and what it tastes like, and how comfortable you are. And *that* is what you need to accomplish in those 15 minutes. You need to appreciate that you can just be comfortable and relax. You can set a timer to tell you when the time is up.
When you are done - tell yourself that you did a good job of just *being*, and know that you did something good for yourself.
Posted by All Done on March 9, 2004, at 9:23:23
In reply to Good Sessions are almost as hard as the Hard Ones!, posted by DaisyM on March 8, 2004, at 22:26:59
Daisy,
I'm so glad to hear you had a good session. I think you were due for one and needed it.
I think I had almost the same session as you a few days ago. We talked about my needing to do therapy "right" and my T even pretended to write an A+ on the paper I had with me. I did leave the session thinking it was a bit too light, though. If we're not working on the "hard" stuff, we must not be accomplishing much? (He did tell me that's not true, but sometimes it needs to sink in.) Yet, when I left, I immediately started missing him terribly but in a good way.
Let yourself enjoy the good feelings. After all of your hard work, you definitely deserve it.
Take care,
All Done
Posted by Speaker on March 9, 2004, at 10:52:40
In reply to Re: Good Sessions are almost as hard as the Hard Ones! » DaisyM, posted by Dinah on March 9, 2004, at 0:51:10
Posted by shortelise on March 9, 2004, at 12:41:52
In reply to Good Sessions are almost as hard as the Hard Ones!, posted by DaisyM on March 8, 2004, at 22:26:59
Yes, Daisy, what you describe is so familiar. I do miss him especially after a good sesson, an easy one that doesn't hurt, but that reinforces that caring I get from him. I feel like a pie with a piece missing.
ShortE
Posted by gardenergirl on March 9, 2004, at 19:18:03
In reply to Re: Good Sessions are almost as hard as the Hard Ones! » DaisyM, posted by fallsfall on March 9, 2004, at 7:03:28
>
> Sometimes there are times when you just have to *be*. And not worry about the "A". Start small - take 15 minutes and sit someplace comfortable, take a cup of tea and try to notice how warm the cup is, and what it tastes like, and how comfortable you are. And *that* is what you need to accomplish in those 15 minutes. You need to appreciate that you can just be comfortable and relax. You can set a timer to tell you when the time is up.
>
> When you are done - tell yourself that you did a good job of just *being*, and know that you did something good for yourself.What great advice!
gg
Posted by Poet on March 9, 2004, at 19:18:39
In reply to Good Sessions are almost as hard as the Hard Ones!, posted by DaisyM on March 8, 2004, at 22:26:59
Hi Daisy,
I hope it lasts. I can identify with shutting down the little girl inside. It's great to have support in therapy, isn't it? You can count on your T being there when that little girl is ready to appear.
I'm supposed to be "dialoging" with my inner child, maybe yours and mine can play together sometime.
Poet
Posted by gardenergirl on March 9, 2004, at 19:20:24
In reply to Re: Good Sessions are almost as hard as the Hard Ones! » DaisyM, posted by shortelise on March 9, 2004, at 12:41:52
Daisy,
Everyone needs sessions like that from time to time. We can't go at it full tilt intensity every session. I think that would be too much for anyone. And it does seal the bond. It's a bit of a break for the T as well, so you both shared in it.congrats and enjoy. I know you work so hard in therapy, you deserve a break now and then. It won't set you back. And it won't last, because you will be ready again to do the hard stuff. And then another break...and so on and so on and so on....
gg
Posted by gardenergirl on March 9, 2004, at 23:47:16
In reply to Re: Good Sessions are almost as hard as the Hard Ones!, posted by gardenergirl on March 9, 2004, at 19:20:24
Posted by tinydancer on March 10, 2004, at 1:59:21
In reply to Re: Good Sessions are almost as hard as the Hard Ones!, posted by gardenergirl on March 9, 2004, at 19:20:24
> Daisy,
> Everyone needs sessions like that from time to time. We can't go at it full tilt intensity every session. I think that would be too much for anyone. And it does seal the bond. It's a bit of a break for the T as well, so you both shared in it.I totally agree here. Ride the wave, baby. It's up, its down....Always changing but never less important!
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Psychology | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.