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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 8 of 8. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by terrics on March 11, 2004, at 17:19:28
I asked my T. if I have a transference. She said no way. She said we have something, but she doesn't know what to call it. Then she said we have a nice relationship. It probably means just that although she told me that she does not talk to any of her patients like she talks to me. I know this is silly stuff, but I have always loved her even when I knew she is screwing up. I guess to be completely honest I should tell you that I worked in the same hospital she did a long time a go and I loved her [not sexual] even when she was not my T. Perhaps this explains all the boundry crossings. terrics
Posted by pegasus on March 11, 2004, at 19:05:07
In reply to Meaning of something T said, posted by terrics on March 11, 2004, at 17:19:28
Hi terrics,
My understanding of transference is that it happens on some level in most relationships we have with anyone. Transference isn't a big bad thing, as I understand it. It's just the stuff you bring into the relationship that the other person triggers for you, but that doesn't really come from them. We tend to talk about transference more in terms of a therapy relationship, because it tends to become especially strong in that situation, and we can learn a lot by examining it. In fact, that is apparently one of the big goals of psychoanalysis: to see what type of transference develops, and examine it in detail to learn about the client's unconscious.
So, I'm a little surprised to learn that your T completely dismisses the idea of any transference in your relationship with her. I'm curious what her training is, and what approach she uses. It could be that she was trained mainly in a therapeutic technique that doesn't try to use transference (for example, behavioral therapy), or somehow has a different theory behind it that doesn't recognize transference as a legitimate thing. Different people have different views on the existence of transference, I think. But most theories of therapy that I'm aware of recognize that it is really common, if not inevitable.
- p
Posted by Fallen4myT on March 11, 2004, at 19:45:10
In reply to Meaning of something T said, posted by terrics on March 11, 2004, at 17:19:28
Terrics, girfriend I think she means that you two have a friendship of sorts. Maybe not really friends but not transference either...Way cool really its a good place to be I bet :)
Posted by terrics on March 11, 2004, at 20:56:21
In reply to Re: Meaning of something T said » terrics, posted by Fallen4myT on March 11, 2004, at 19:45:10
Hi, How are you? I see you have been quite prolific. I am not reading or posting too much.
Sure hope you are right about friendship. It would be a good thing. thanks for answering. terrics
Posted by Fallen4myT on March 11, 2004, at 21:03:58
In reply to Re: Meaning of something T said » Fallen4myT, posted by terrics on March 11, 2004, at 20:56:21
Well I went on a posting spree and lol now am a tad more quiet :) I NOTICED you weren't sround and was rather concerned but glad youre posting more and that you have a nice T :)
Posted by tinydancer on March 12, 2004, at 1:40:33
In reply to Meaning of something T said, posted by terrics on March 11, 2004, at 17:19:28
Transference is based on feelings of projection, in my understanding of it, anyway. That means that a certain quality in your T may trigger a memory of a previous individual who also had that quality and therefore you project the emotions you had for that person onto the T.
In my humble, laymans opinion, it doesn't sound like transference to me. You said you liked her even before you began working together. I'm on the other side of the fence when regarding transference. I don't believe every emotion stems from transference, and neither does my T.
Posted by pegasus on March 12, 2004, at 13:39:55
In reply to Re: Meaning of something T said, posted by tinydancer on March 12, 2004, at 1:40:33
Well, but I don't think it has to be that black and white either. I agree that not all relationships are "based on" transference. And I agree that transference is a kind of projection. I also think that transference can happen at times in almost any relationship. And I don't think it's a bad thing.
For example, I think my relationship with my husband involves some transference from my relationship with my sister. Except that my husband is way more supportive and attentive and approving. But we relate in a similar way that I related to my sister, and it feels like he fills a similar role in my life (it's really complicated). So, in a way, he is helping me heal from some of the negative stuff that I got from my sister. It's not a bad thing. Actually, maybe it's a really good thing. And, of course, I have a completely real relationship with my husband also. He's my best friend, and I love him dearly, for his own self. There are just these other things that I bring into it that didn't originate with him. Does that make sense?
At least, that's how I see it.
- p
Posted by terrics on March 12, 2004, at 15:08:25
In reply to Re: Meaning of something T said » tinydancer, posted by pegasus on March 12, 2004, at 13:39:55
It's nice to hear someone say something positive about their husband. You are lucky terrics
This is the end of the thread.
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