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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 17 of 17. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Elle2021 on July 20, 2004, at 22:46:11
I don't feel safe here anymore, so I think it is best for me to leave Babble for awhile. Thanks for the support, best to everyone.
Elle
Posted by Dinah on July 20, 2004, at 22:57:29
In reply to Leaving Babble, posted by Elle2021 on July 20, 2004, at 22:46:11
Elle, I hope it isn't my doing. As I said, I wasn't intending to be mean. I have always enjoyed your posts and your kindness to others.
When I declined to clarify, it was because of *me*. Because I have been trying and trying and trying to clarify. And trying to do what people seem to think is the right thing, and trying to explain why I'm doing what I'm doing, and everything I say just makes things worse. So I *have* to quit trying. And see, here I am doing it again. Trying to explain again. :( And it'll probably make things worse again. I just don't want to keep boring a deeper hole for myself with my words. I'm sorry that I realized that at the same time you posted to me. It was just bad timing, not ill intent on my part towards you. I actually did write a long post answering you, but realized that no matter what I said, it could be taken wrong. Or maybe I'm wording that wrong. I didn't have the skill with words to say things in such a way that they would be taken the way I intended.
I hope you feel free to come back again, and I'm sorry for any misunderstandings.
I have always and will always value any friendship you feel fit to show me. And I also understand if you don't feel too friendly towards me at the moment.
Posted by tabitha on July 20, 2004, at 23:43:32
In reply to Leaving Babble, posted by Elle2021 on July 20, 2004, at 22:46:11
Elle take care of yourself and I hope you'll feel free to return when/if the time is right for you. I really admire the compassion and acceptance you show towards people here. I don't want to name names, but you inspired me to try to be a little more forgiving in one instance. It took me a while to let go of my feelings of anger in that situation, but somehow your example helped me think it might be possible to get to a more compassionate place. So thank you.
And don't you hate how you don't hear how much peope value you until you're walking out the door?
Posted by JenStar on July 21, 2004, at 0:24:36
In reply to Re: Leaving Babble » Elle2021, posted by Dinah on July 20, 2004, at 22:57:29
Dinah, it might not be my place to chime in here (but of course I will anyway!) I don't think you should second guess yourself too much. Your posts are thoughtful, insightful and honest. You should not have to apologize for possible hurts, although it shows your sensitive tender side when you do this. You should not have to sugar coat your responses, as long as they are civil (they are) and friendly and rational (they are that too!)
The truth is, most of us here are vulnerable and needy (maybe more than most humans!), and it's hard to express emotion through typed words. People can get offended by something that was completely unintentional.
I think anyone who posts on this or any board needs to read responses or answers with a grain of salt - we have to have slightly thick skin!
Most people are NOT out to deliberately hurt anyone's feelings...I can tell this by all the tons of apologies and concerns about the health & welfare about others. I think most people here just want to be heard, want to be helpful, and feel terrible when they offend someone else.Elle, if you're not "safe" here then by all means take a break, and please come back when you feel right about it again. :)
Still, though, this board doesn't feel like a scary place. To me it still feels helpful & fun, and really really interesting. Tons of interesting people here.
Anyway, I'll show my attempts at being "thick skinned" by responding positively to any responses. :) (<--- smile!)
Take care, all, and happy thoughts to each of you.
JenStar
> Elle, I hope it isn't my doing. As I said, I wasn't intending to be mean. I have always enjoyed your posts and your kindness to others.
>
> When I declined to clarify, it was because of *me*. Because I have been trying and trying and trying to clarify. And trying to do what people seem to think is the right thing, and trying to explain why I'm doing what I'm doing, and everything I say just makes things worse. So I *have* to quit trying. And see, here I am doing it again. Trying to explain again. :( And it'll probably make things worse again. I just don't want to keep boring a deeper hole for myself with my words. I'm sorry that I realized that at the same time you posted to me. It was just bad timing, not ill intent on my part towards you. I actually did write a long post answering you, but realized that no matter what I said, it could be taken wrong. Or maybe I'm wording that wrong. I didn't have the skill with words to say things in such a way that they would be taken the way I intended.
>
> I hope you feel free to come back again, and I'm sorry for any misunderstandings.
>
> I have always and will always value any friendship you feel fit to show me. And I also understand if you don't feel too friendly towards me at the moment.
Posted by JenStar on July 21, 2004, at 0:38:03
In reply to Leaving Babble, posted by Elle2021 on July 20, 2004, at 22:46:11
hi Elle,
a few days ago (I believe) you posted that you felt a depression coming on. If you're reading this before you go -- I hope you're feeling well and beating this round of the gloom.I hope you're not leaving b/c the depression makes you think noone cares. We do care!
Anyway, I also hope you have a 'safe' person to talk to and help you thru this. Let us know how you're doing when you feel up for writing again.
JenStar
> I don't feel safe here anymore, so I think it is best for me to leave Babble for awhile. Thanks for the support, best to everyone.
> Elle
Posted by tabitha on July 21, 2004, at 0:44:26
In reply to Re: Leaving Babble » Elle2021, posted by Dinah on July 20, 2004, at 22:57:29
hang in there girl. little Dinah is just fine.
Posted by Elle2021 on July 21, 2004, at 3:10:30
In reply to Re: Leaving Babble » Elle2021, posted by Dinah on July 20, 2004, at 22:57:29
Dinah,
Please don't feel pressured to explain or clarify things when you don't want to. I understand. I value your friendship too and I'm not hurt or upset anymore. I just don't feel like this is the right place for me at the moment, so I've decided to leave Babble for awhile. Take care of yourself and hang in there. I do care very much for you.
Elle
Posted by Elle2021 on July 21, 2004, at 3:13:50
In reply to Re: Leaving Babble » Elle2021, posted by tabitha on July 20, 2004, at 23:43:32
Tabitha,
I feel so happy to know that I inspired you in some way! :) Thanks for writing that post to me, it made me feel really special. I have decided to take a break from Babble, but I might return when I feel more up to it. Good luck with group, I know it's tough, but you are strong (I can tell). :) Hugs
Elle
Posted by Elle2021 on July 21, 2004, at 3:14:31
In reply to Re: Leaving Babble, posted by JenStar on July 21, 2004, at 0:38:03
Posted by Dinah on July 21, 2004, at 5:31:50
In reply to Re: hugs for » Dinah, posted by tabitha on July 21, 2004, at 0:44:26
Posted by Dinah on July 21, 2004, at 5:34:39
In reply to Re: Leaving Babble » Dinah, posted by Elle2021 on July 21, 2004, at 3:10:30
I'm glad we got that straightened out before you left. And I'm very relieved I didn't botch it this time. :)
I do understand completely that Babble can sometimes feel scarier than it feels safe. I hope you'll come back when you feel ready. I'll miss your posts.
Posted by AuntieMel on July 21, 2004, at 10:17:47
In reply to Leaving Babble, posted by Elle2021 on July 20, 2004, at 22:46:11
and do what you need to do to make yourself stronger.
I hope this is a short break. I love reading your posts.
Posted by AuntieMel on July 21, 2004, at 10:20:02
In reply to Re: Leaving Babble » Elle2021, posted by Dinah on July 20, 2004, at 22:57:29
No one should be made to apologize for doing what feels right.
I feel really bad for helping stir up this mess. I know it makes some people feel worse and I hurt for them.
But, I had to say what I felt was right for me.
Posted by gardenergirl on July 21, 2004, at 10:32:45
In reply to Re: Leaving Babble » Elle2021, posted by tabitha on July 20, 2004, at 23:43:32
>
> And don't you hate how you don't hear how much peope value you until you're walking out the door?This is so true. I was recently reading a news article about a tragedy, and it reminded me of all those who never took the time to say how much they value others, and then lost their chance.
So Elle, I'm going to miss your wise posts. It seems you were only back for a short while (I am remembering this correctly, aren't I?) Anyway, please take care, and check in periodically so that when it seems safe, we can share in your wisdom again.
Take care,
gg
Posted by pegasus on July 21, 2004, at 11:55:26
In reply to Leaving Babble, posted by Elle2021 on July 20, 2004, at 22:46:11
Posted by karen_kay on July 21, 2004, at 12:35:39
In reply to Leaving Babble, posted by Elle2021 on July 20, 2004, at 22:46:11
may i take your hand and help you feel more safe? it breaks my heart and i just can't take another heart break. not trying to make you feel responsible in any way dear, not at all. it's good for me to feel hurt, just as it's good for me to feel good. but, i wish i could do something to make you feel safe doll.
you know, many times i think that sometimes i'm not safe in places and i should go. but suddenly i realize that i need the people and they need me jsut as much. and miss elle, you can't know how happy i was to see you back here. i completely understand if you must go. you must do what's best for you. and i respect you for that. that's one of your finer qualities (that and your beauty of course). but, please don't also forget there are many people here who respect and look forward to seeing you again once you feel able to return once again dear.
Posted by 64bowtie on July 21, 2004, at 23:34:05
In reply to Leaving Babble, posted by Elle2021 on July 20, 2004, at 22:46:11
This is the end of the thread.
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