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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 8 of 8. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by seidrkoma on September 12, 2004, at 13:52:54
i have a question that I don't think anyone can really answer. My therepy helps me. It gives me a place to go where I can actually verbalize all the things I am thinking. A place I don't feel like I have to "fake it". But does it help me get healthy?? I confuse my therapist. And she isn't the first one to say this. I have been seriosly depressed for so long {about age 4} that I guess I don't really know how "normal" feels. And honestly at times I am afraid to let go of my depression because I don't know what I will be like if I do...... Now to me that is sad, but i don't know how to change it.
Posted by fallsfall on September 12, 2004, at 14:33:55
In reply to therepy helps but is it enough, posted by seidrkoma on September 12, 2004, at 13:52:54
>I am afraid to let go of my depression because I don't know what I will be like if I do
I can really relate to this. I've been severely depressed for 9 1/2 years (disabled from work for 7 1/2 of them). Depression is *comfortable* because it is familiar.
But I don't want to live like this. So I try to do a little bit at a time (I have a 16 year old daughter to fight with, 10 months ago I started working 10 hours a week at my library, 8 weeks ago I finally cleaned my kitchen counter (and it is still clean!), now I'm removing years of dirt from my family room. Going to work gets me out of the house and forces me to be sociable.
I have some long term goals (take some tests at Vocational Rehab to identify reasonable careers for me (I can't handle the stress of Software Engineering any more), if the Library turns out to be a reasonable career then take some classes, get my daughter out of high school and into college). But I have to move really slowly, talking about careers a couple of months ago precipitated a crash. I need to feel comfortable enough that I can *think* while I'm working before it makes sense for me to go back to school.
It is very much like growing up all over again. It takes time to figure out how to relate to the world. It takes time to have enough confidence that you *can* do things to actually do them.
Do you have some goals? Can you identify a few simple things that you can start to do to get ready to start moving towards the goals? Or even just identify a few simple things that will let you start moving towards figuring out what a goal might be? (Volunteering is a wonderful way to start. Places just LOVE people who come and volunteer - you will be so appreciated!)
I freak if I put deadlines on these things - I can only do it if I decide what order I'll do things, and I add the next thing in when I'm comfortable with what I'm doing now.
Your goals don't even have to be very concrete. I decided that I couldn't stand my filthy house any more. I did a little in the kitchen, a little with the paperwork piles, a little in the family room. Then I decided that I needed the family room rug cleaned, and that I was going to remove everything and not put anything back in until I had cleaned it. The rug was cleaned on 8/10. I have 2 chairs to clean, and the mantle and then the family room will be done! So it takes me more than a month to clean the things in my family room and put them away. That seems rediculous, but that is how it is. And it is more progress than I had been making.
I'd really like to hear how things go for you.
Posted by seidrkoma on September 12, 2004, at 22:04:45
In reply to Re: therepy helps but is it enough » seidrkoma, posted by fallsfall on September 12, 2004, at 14:33:55
"> Do you have some goals? Can you identify a few simple things that you can start to do to get ready to start moving towards the goals? Or even just identify a few simple things that will let you start moving towards figuring out what a goal might be? (Volunteering is a wonderful way to start. Places just LOVE people who come and volunteer - you will be so appreciated!) "
First of all thanks you so much.
As for goals. I have many goals. I decided I had to do something about my life and I took a very drastic step over a year ago...I joined the Air Force. I think it may have been too much all at once, but I refuse to fail. I have been asked repeatedly if maybe I need to get out by my supervisors and my therapist. So right now my goal is to get through the next 3 1/4 years without loseing it. Another goal is to keep my relationship happy and healthy with my fiance. Going back to college is another goal...a big one because I want to be a veteranerian. It's daily things though. I'm not good at the small goals. And Dennis trys to help but I just don't think he understands. I really like how you talk about getting your house cleaned up and in order. I have been trying to do that with our house...unfortunatly Dennis isn't good at helping with this. I don't know how to help him understand how important it is to me. Somehow I have to work on the comunication between him and I and also learn to make more short term goals. I look too much at the big picture then get stressed or overwhelmed. I need to look at the details.
Posted by Susan47 on September 13, 2004, at 11:26:27
In reply to Re: therepy helps but is it enough, posted by seidrkoma on September 12, 2004, at 22:04:45
Wow, you never mentioned joing the Air Force as part of your goal, just veterinary practice. Is the Air Force helping you with that goal? I hope so, because another 3+ years there is asking a lot of yourself. It really is. I was raised to believe that failure is giving up. Be kind to yourself.
Posted by Susan47 on September 13, 2004, at 11:28:12
In reply to Re: therepy helps but is it enough » seidrkoma, posted by Susan47 on September 13, 2004, at 11:26:27
giving up what's bad for you. That's a step towards success.
Posted by alexandra_k on September 13, 2004, at 21:36:44
In reply to therepy helps but is it enough, posted by seidrkoma on September 12, 2004, at 13:52:54
it is not enough, but something is infinitely (bigger than; greater than; better than) nothing.
Posted by alexandra_k on September 14, 2004, at 2:33:06
In reply to Re: therepy helps but is it enough, posted by alexandra_k on September 13, 2004, at 21:36:44
sorry, ignore the above, it wasn't helpful I am just in a bad place. Sorry
Posted by Susan47 on September 14, 2004, at 19:21:14
In reply to Re: therepy helps but is it enough, posted by alexandra_k on September 14, 2004, at 2:33:06
You don't need to apologize for being in a bad place, I think we understand and really it's great you joined in. I'm sorry I'm not up to speed on what your bad place is right now though. Shall I read through the board some more?
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