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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 4 of 4. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by alexandra_k on October 31, 2004, at 20:00:57
I have made my decision.
I didn't really have the 'boundary talk' with T1. But she did bring up the seeing two clinicians at the same time issue. I told her that I would have been more worried if she hadn't brought it up, because of boundaries. She seemed a bit suprised at that. But said that she couldn't really keep on seeing me without him knowing about it.
But I don't want him to know. I have everything to lose (as T1 won't keep working with me unless T2 is). I was supposed to tell him (T2) about it and talk to him about it this week. But I have decided to send her (T1) an email instead telling her that I am very sorry but I am not going to tell him, and I can't see her anymore.
I knew that seeing them both like that was a bad idea and that I had everything to lose.
These last couple of weeks have made something increasingly clear to me, however: If I have to choose I know which. She is lovely. But I think it would be good for me to work through some of my anger transference, and that seems to come out a whole lot more with T2. And everytime he deals with my anger appropriately I come to respect him even more.
No more T timing for me.
I was just so afraid I'd end up with nothing.
I shall post when I have sent the email (so I have to send it now!)
And I shall tell him about it. Before next year. How is that? Progress?
Posted by Dinah on October 31, 2004, at 21:17:50
In reply to No more T timing, posted by alexandra_k on October 31, 2004, at 20:00:57
Sounds like progress to me. :)
Ok, I should be honest here. It's what I've wanted to do myself. Have two therapists without the other knowing about it. Twice the safety. Because as much as he wants to be, my therapist can't be there for me all of the time. What's wrong with wanting another one as a safety net?
Sigh.
I brought it up with him again the other day. It led to a semi fight. In the end, he agreed to think about it and think about ways to have a backup or ways to make therapy safer to depend on. Then I got scared and left a frightened message on his machine taking it all back because somehow the idea of actually having that other someone was terrifying, although it's what I want.
So I do think it's progress to be honest with your therapist. But if I'm honest with you, I like the setup you've got. :)
Posted by alexandra_k on October 31, 2004, at 22:48:34
In reply to Re: No more T timing » alexandra_k, posted by Dinah on October 31, 2004, at 21:17:50
Yeah, I liked it too. T1 actually wants to keep on seeing me, but she needs me to tell T2 because (understandably enough) it is considered unethical to see someone else's client without them knowing about it.
I just don't think T2 will like it. Actually, what I am most afraid of is that he will say that it is a good idea but then he will withdraw and see his input as medication review rather than psychotherapy.
But I most want him to give me psychotherapy.
I just don't want him to be angry with me for seeing her. I'll get up the courage to tell him soon enough. But I think he'll take it better if I don't see her for a while.I think his main concern would be that I'd get confused. But then different people have different contingencies, that is life right? Besides which, some people get 2 parents and I just got neglected by both, so why can't I have 2 T's to reparent me? But now I am just trying to justify it...
I know what it is like to say what is on your mind and then panic about it and recant. Hang in there Dinah, sounds to me you are pretty lucky with your T (though he can be mildly infuriating too) :-)
Posted by gardenergirl on November 1, 2004, at 12:40:14
In reply to Re: No more T timing » Dinah, posted by alexandra_k on October 31, 2004, at 22:48:34
Alexandra,
When I first saw your subject line, I thought it related somehow to sessions and your watching the clock! :)I hope you are able to work out this dilemma to everyone's satisfaction and your own well-being.
gg
This is the end of the thread.
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