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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 20 of 20. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by happyflower on January 4, 2006, at 13:07:46
He really hurt me, and I fell abandoned by him. I don't care if he called this morning, probably just save his own butt.
I feel so very bad, I feel so low, so uncared about, that goodness I have kids to live for becasuse without them I have nothing. My life is nothing. I can't reach out to my T, he has "burned" me and I can't put my hand on that hot stove again. I can't trust him.
Posted by LegWarmers on January 4, 2006, at 13:28:28
In reply to I just can't reach out to my T **trigger**, posted by happyflower on January 4, 2006, at 13:07:46
> He really hurt me, and I fell abandoned by him. I don't care if he called this morning, probably just save his own butt.
> I feel so very bad, I feel so low, so uncared about, that goodness I have kids to live for becasuse without them I have nothing. My life is nothing. I can't reach out to my T, he has "burned" me and I can't put my hand on that hot stove again. I can't trust him.Try not to give him so much power right now. I always try to remind myself when people do things that are out of charcter, and hurt me, that maybe they are having a bad day/week themselves. He might not have any idea how you are feeling.
Im sorry he hurt you.
Posted by Racer on January 4, 2006, at 14:01:11
In reply to Re: I just can't reach out to my T **trigger**, posted by LegWarmers on January 4, 2006, at 13:28:28
I'm sorry, too, but I think this is good advice. You're giving him so much power -- and that's kinda turning what therapy is supposed to be about on its head. It's supposed to be about *you* and *your* needs. If you're experiencing this sort of hurt from your therapist, I'd say your needs -- the basis of what therapy is supposed to be about, remember -- are not being met.
Also, this is my own bias: have you considered a female therapist? I know that some people do just fine, or even better, with a therapist of the opposite sex, but I've always found that I could really only deal with female therapists. I fall into gender roles with men, no matter what the relationship, and that interferes too much with therapy to work for me. Maybe seeing a woman would help you more?
Again, I'm sorry you're so hurt right now. Good luck.
Posted by happyflower on January 4, 2006, at 17:35:43
In reply to Re: I just can't reach out to my T **trigger**, posted by Racer on January 4, 2006, at 14:01:11
How much can a person cry? I just cry and sleep, if I am not sleeping then I am crying. This feeling sucks. I do feel a little better after crying 2 days. But I still feel pain, I still feel afraid to call him back. I am sorry I just can't hear what you have all written, I am just too emotional right now to think straight.
Why kick me when I am already down? Is he trying to create distance between us since I as going to therapy every week for the last month? Normally he sees his clients every other week. Am I being too much for him? Is he too attached to me, and wants to space us apart more? Is this some sort of sick thearpy game he is playing?
I think he called out of obligation. He sounded weird on the phone, sort of stressed trying to keep his cool on the phone very guarded about what he said. I just don't know what to say to him. I know he can't hold me, and that is what I need right now. It is so scary feeling alone with nobody that really cares about me that can support me. Life sucks.
Posted by happyflower on January 4, 2006, at 17:42:49
In reply to Sorry I just can't hear right now, posted by happyflower on January 4, 2006, at 17:35:43
I just couldn't call him today after his message this morning. I just feel too vunerable. So If I don't call him back, he is "blameless" in this isn't he, how conveinent for him.
Posted by happyflower on January 4, 2006, at 17:44:54
In reply to I couldn't call him back, posted by happyflower on January 4, 2006, at 17:42:49
Posted by fairywings on January 4, 2006, at 19:25:05
In reply to I just can't reach out to my T **trigger**, posted by happyflower on January 4, 2006, at 13:07:46
(((Happy)))
I'm so sorry you're feeling so bad about what your T did. If you can't call him back, and don't want to talk to him right now, maybe a letter would help get "things off your chest"? He needs to know how much he hurt you, that you feel so incredibly abandoned, and he shouldn't be impatient with you bec. you're going every week now. You are doing it bec. you needed it, and you're paying good money for him to help you. When's your next appt., and are you going to go?
I know exercise has been a big form of pleasure and release in your life lately, maybe you can immerse yourself in that until you can get all of this straightened out. Are you still doing the music? Does that help? I've found that there are only certain things that help get me through short periods of time, and I have to do one or the other to get me through. The time that's in between is very painful. Maybe you'll find the same?
Please don't let this situation make you feel worthless or any less than what you truly are, and that is an incredible person with a lot to offer. You're talented, kind, and compassionate. Your kids do need you very much, they love you, and want you to be happy and well. Trust yourself and go with what your heart says as far as therapy, but please be safe and take care of yourself during this time when you're feeling so hurt.
Did your T tell you what was wrong with him? I know at your last appt. he seemed worried and impatient about something; maybe that's got him upset, but even so, he shouldn't let that interfere with your issues, esp. during your appt. times.
I hope you are okay. Please email me.
fw
Posted by happyflower on January 4, 2006, at 21:37:27
In reply to Re: I just can't reach out to my T **trigger** » happyflower, posted by fairywings on January 4, 2006, at 19:25:05
at night. I took my new med. Ambiean sp? 2 hours ago and I am still awake. Boy do I feel weird though, I better go lay down. I just want to sleep sleep is good.
Posted by daisym on January 4, 2006, at 23:40:16
In reply to I guess when you sleep all day, you can't sleep, posted by happyflower on January 4, 2006, at 21:37:27
OR...when you are incredibly upset it is hard to sleep. I hope you fall asleep and sleep all night.
I've been trying to catch up on things and I feel like I've missed something. How did this get so out of hand?
Please excuse my brief synopsis but I'm trying to put the pieces together.You had a fairly tough session where you weren't connecting and he was grumpy. He was rude and short with you when you were scheduling. You called and left a message telling him you were upset. He called and apologized, said he was stressed about his medical appointment. Upon further reflection, you decided you didn't want to wait two weeks so you phoned for an appointment. He heard, "call me if you have an opening" but what you said/meant was "I don't want to wait two weeks, so please call me so we can figure out how I don't have to sit with all of this." After an additional message, you left another, cancelling everything and telling him to leave you alone. He called back one more time to try to figure out what was really going on. You haven't returned that call and don't intend to.
Is this right?
It seems to me that one bad session shouldn't destroy a year's worth of work. You owe yourself more than this kind of ending. I totally understand the need to protect yourself. I am the queen of pull in and away from hurt. But your posts sound like you've got clear evidence that he wants to terminate you. And I just don't think you do. I think he had a bad day, you got hurt and you've globalized this as intentional, purposeful and precipitated by you. While you might be right, this just doesn't sound like the therapist you've written about all this time.
I'm going to encourage you to step back and really look at what you know and separate that from what you are guessing at. Then call up and reclaim your appointment time. Tell him exactly what you've been thinking, how you feel and why you think he doesn't want to work with you anymore. My guess is this will be hard, involve tears and ultimately result in learning a great deal about yourself.
I wish it didn't hurt. But don't quit. Work through it. Again -- you owe it to yourself.
Posted by fairywings on January 5, 2006, at 9:08:58
In reply to I guess when you sleep all day, you can't sleep, posted by happyflower on January 4, 2006, at 21:37:27
Hi happy,
My pdoc told me that once you take Ambien, you're supposed to lie down w/in 1/2 hour of taking it and try to let it do it's work. I've read here that some ppl hallucinate if they take it and stay up - you don't want that. I've taken it and then had the kids ask me to do something, and I've felt drunk and nauseous, that's no fun either. I take mine and lie down shortly afterwards. When things are troublesome it still takes awhile for me to get to sleep sometimes, but once I'm asleep I sleep at least 5 hours.
I hope you're feeling better. Daisy had some very wise words.
fw
Posted by LadyBug on January 5, 2006, at 11:19:10
In reply to I guess when you sleep all day, you can't sleep, posted by happyflower on January 4, 2006, at 21:37:27
My hubby takes amiben and if he doesn't lay down and go to bed, he is just like he is waisted!!!! And it makes all of us mad!!! If you keep taking it, lay down until you fall asleep. I took 2 of them once when I was feeling so much pain (emotional) and I didn't go to bed, I ended up scaring my 2 girls to death by what ever I was doing and the next day, I had no memory of anything!!!! So be careful. And you need to make sure you have 7 or 8 hours of sleep planned or you'll wake up groggy.
Hang in there!!
LadyBug
Posted by happyflower on January 5, 2006, at 13:03:57
In reply to Re: I guess when you sleep all day, you can't sleep » happyflower, posted by daisym on January 4, 2006, at 23:40:16
Well I must say you summed it up nicely. Yup you got the story on how it happened. It still hurts even if I am overreacting about it. It hurts really bad. It is just hard to listen to advice lately, I don't know what to say about it. I am feel very lost and confused. Thanks Daisy anyways, maybe in couple of days it will make more sense to me.
Posted by happyflower on January 5, 2006, at 13:08:46
In reply to Re: I guess when you sleep all day, you can't sleep » happyflower, posted by fairywings on January 5, 2006, at 9:08:58
Hey Fairywings! :)
Maybe the Ambiem isn't working well for me. I have tried it the last 2 nights, and it has taken me over 3 hours to get to sleep. I don't know if I just feel asleep becauase I am exhausted, or if it was the meds. I hate taking medicine but I need my sleep. But it isn't working. The other pill before this one stopped working after about 2 weeks and that was Restroil. The doc says these pills are strong stuff, but why don't they put me out? I did lay down as soon as I took the pills.
Posted by happyflower on January 5, 2006, at 13:10:22
In reply to Re: I guess when you sleep all day, you can't sleep » happyflower, posted by LadyBug on January 5, 2006, at 11:19:10
Thanks Ladybug.
I am still in a confused state of mind to even read these posts. Maybe its the pills making me worse? Thanks for responding to me. :)
Posted by fairywings on January 5, 2006, at 21:26:07
In reply to Re: I guess when you sleep all day, you can't sleep » fairywings, posted by happyflower on January 5, 2006, at 13:08:46
Hi hf,
what's your dose. everyone's diff. i take 15 mg, some need less, some maybe more. i started at 10, that was too much, made me groggy the next day, but now, w/depression it's harder to fall asleep, so i'm on more. maybe all the sadness and anger have made it harder. tell your doc, he should be able to help.
fw
Posted by happyflower on January 6, 2006, at 3:55:36
In reply to Re: I guess when you sleep all day, you can't sleep » happyflower, posted by fairywings on January 5, 2006, at 21:26:07
I take Ambien CR 12.5 mg. for the first time this week. I think it is really messing me up during the day. Shouldn't the effects be worn off after 8 hours? I am having really bizarre dreams and my DH said I tried to push him out of bed the last 2 nights. I don't remember doing this. He says I am talking in my sleep, sitting up and saying really weird stuff like I am possesssed.
I am having very bizarre dreams and I feel aggitated all day.
I don't know if this drug is the reason I having the reaction to my T that I am . Even my son asked me yesterday if I was okay. I read some of y old posts from the last couple days and my spelling is really off. Maybe I should stop taking it? It seems to take me several hours to fall asleep on it anyways so I don't even know if it is doing what it is suppose to do.
Posted by muffled on January 6, 2006, at 9:27:34
In reply to Ambien CR, posted by happyflower on January 6, 2006, at 3:55:36
Sounds weird all right. I tried diff.sleep meds. before I just decided xanax was good enough to put me to sleep. Don't work if I take it tooo often though. Disrupts my sleep patterns. Gotta run...
Take care
Muffled
Posted by daisym on January 6, 2006, at 10:04:37
In reply to Ambien CR, posted by happyflower on January 6, 2006, at 3:55:36
I've taken it now two nights in a row and I'm having the same issue with the big, bad bizarre dreams that I can't wake up from and absolutely covered with sweat in the morning. My husband is use to my "noises" at night but even he said this morning that it seemed like I was having a harder time than usual in my sleep. BUT -- I slept 4 hours straight, which was amazing!
Posted by happyflower on January 6, 2006, at 14:51:52
In reply to Re: Ambien CR, posted by daisym on January 6, 2006, at 10:04:37
Well I shoved my DH out of the bed in the middle of the night, and I didn't know I did it. He also said I sound possesed, talking and sitting up in my sleep. Laughing in my sleep. I don't mean to hurt my DH, but I wonder if it is my concscience that pushed him out! LOL sorry, got to get rid of the tension.
Posted by fairywings on January 7, 2006, at 17:42:59
In reply to Re: Ambien CR » daisym, posted by happyflower on January 6, 2006, at 14:51:52
> Well I shoved my DH out of the bed in the middle of the night, and I didn't know I did it. He also said I sound possesed, talking and sitting up in my sleep. Laughing in my sleep. I don't mean to hurt my DH, but I wonder if it is my concscience that pushed him out! LOL sorry, got to get rid of the tension.
**That stuff sounds kind of scary!
fw
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