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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 4 of 4. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by happyflower on January 5, 2006, at 12:59:09
I did my workout today, 40 minutes on the elipical, 1.5 miles walked and lifted my weights. I had tears in my eyes because I was afraid of running into my T . But I didn't so that was good.
I just don't know if Ishould call him. After listening to his message, he says he still has me on the books for Tueday unless I need to rescedule.(Didn't I tell him to cancel my appoinmtment and leave me alone?) So is my appoinment cancelled or not? OR is this some trick to get me to call him? I just don't know what to do. I feel like calling him up and telling him I think he has treated me like a big jerk and to f*ck off. I know that isn't nice, but that is how I feel. It is like why do I want to keep my appointment and pay 90 bucks for bullsh*t when I get that from other people for free? He really ticked me off.
I mean whatifhecalled his doctor foranppointment twice and they didn't call him back? That doesn't seem very professional to me. Then I wonder how he would feel epecailly if his doctor was rude to him the week before? I wonder if he would think the doctor didn't want to work with him. This whole situation is bad. I just don't know what to do. I am p*ssed off and in tears now for 3 days.
Posted by sleepygirl on January 5, 2006, at 13:37:38
In reply to Still can't deceide on what to do, posted by happyflower on January 5, 2006, at 12:59:09
If he's got you on the books for Tuesday, then you have an appointment. I think you should go-the time is for YOU after all, and these feelings are important. Do you need to write down what you need to say? I'm sort of bad at expressing stuff - especially when I'm angry/hurt.
Posted by jammerlich on January 5, 2006, at 13:41:12
In reply to Still can't deceide on what to do, posted by happyflower on January 5, 2006, at 12:59:09
I'm sorry this is so hard. It sounds like his not calling you back, on top of his behavior at your last appointment, has left you feeling like he doesn't want to work with you anymore. Is that right? If it is, you must be feeling very hurt.
I think that because we don't really know our T's in a well-rounded way like we do others in our lives, we can tend to put a LOT of emphasis on the little bits we do get. And because so much of the therapy process is about us, we tend to attribute any disconnect to something we did or something they feel about us. But really it isn't always about us at all. They're human too and have their own crud to deal with. Sometimes it really sucks for us though, doesn't it? Please don't think I'm trying to justify any mistakes he made, because I'm not. I'm just trying to offer another perspective.
I think he probably told you he still has your next appointment on his books because he hopes you'll show up for it. He's giving you an opportunity to sit on it awhile and change your mind if you want to. And you know, if he really didn't want to work with you anymore, the fact that you called and said you weren't coming back would have made that really easy for him to do. He could have taken you off his books and never looked back. But he didn't. And I think that means something.
So, if it were me, I think I'd try really hard to make it to that next appointment. Even if it's only to tell him exactly how you're feeling. Showing up doesn't mean you have to continue therapy with him. You can quit after that if you still feel it necessary.
In the meantime, can you try to do something really nice for yourself today? I think happyflower needs that. Maybe some hot cocoa or a good, funny movie?
Posted by fairywings on January 5, 2006, at 14:17:42
In reply to Still can't deceide on what to do, posted by happyflower on January 5, 2006, at 12:59:09
(((Happy)))
I think you still have an appt., and if you don't show he can bill you. I'd either cancel or go.
Do you think you want to continue with him? Do you think it will help to work through this with him? To build up some callouses? If so, go. If you don't think you can forgive him and you'll spend so much time undoing the damage, then it depends on whether it's worth it to you. I think part of therapy is working through these kinds of things, after all it's a relationship, and all relationships have the potential for pain and hurt feelings. I hate it, I would guess we all do, and I tend to give up, but I hope you won't.
I know how much you cared for him. Do you think it would be worth it to go and get his side, and maybe confront all the issues? Your feelings have been badly skinned, you're still feeling raw, it doesn't sound like sitting with the feelings is helping - it sounds like you need to talk to someone. I hope you do, whether it's him or someone else.
I hate to have to pay someone to undo hurt feelings like you had, but I guess it does happen. It happened with me, and I quit, switched to a new T. You know, and that has worked out well so far. But it was painful to start over with someone new, and give up the old T, even though he hurt me. I still care for him, but now I like him, and I'm not angry. One way or another you'll have to work through this, whether it's with him, by yourself, or with someone else. I don't know which is the shortest, least painful path.
Hugs....
fw
This is the end of the thread.
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