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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 5 of 5. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by kerria on May 25, 2006, at 14:20:55
Finally i left the T that i've been seeing since i found i had DID- now i'm struggling so much. The last session- i went back expecting T to apologize- he was so critical of parts- i don't have communication, i don't have control of parts. It felt that he should have helped me- been on my side instead of attacking me for things that i couldn't help- that weren't even big things. i CAN'T understand WHY he was so uncaring - why he hurt me so much. tears. Why is someone like that? How could he be so heartlessly critical?
It hurts so much more because i know he understands me- he still rejected me though he knew i was in so much pain- he doesn't care about me.
He's the only one who knows and has talked to my parts. It seemed like he brought us together but now there's all apartness - everything is a impossible mess and there's no one to help me.
i saw one T- a woman who specialized in DID- it was at the same office where i was dx with DID - and i was so upset to find myself there again by The interview was traumatic because of leaving the other T so badly- she wouldn't take me because i wasn't doing well enough.
That was a month ago- now is so hard. There the surgery coming up for the pelvic pain- it's going into the dark- no one knows if it will help- i have to have it and hope i'm not worse.
The pain is so triggering- the dr who's treating me won't change the dose. It's been the same for about a year and either the pain is worse or i'm getting adjusted to it and it doesn't work as well:(
The dr also expects me to have the surgery- and i want it- if it would help it would be so good- what if i can't get parts to be ready? i wish i had a T that could talk to parts- it's so hard for me. i need way more help than i'm receiving. The T i am going to is using sessions to get to know parts but we're in way too much crisis for that now- with my h always angry with me and the appt with the surgeon next week. Inside feels so afraid - like we can never manage. The two support persons we had are unreasonably angry with us- which is terribly triggering.Why is there never anyone who can understand and help? It hurts so much that i can't find the support i need.
The T i'm seeing now cares about me but isn't understanding about parts. So much of what needs to be said isn't said and the sessions are not helping enough to get me functioning:(i can't face the pain or the surgeror anything.
Everything hurts. i wish i could act better but i can't. i'm So stuck and misunderstood everyday IRL.
What is on the outside is so different than what's on the inside. It's so hard to live that way. The T that knew my parts made it better - but was so rejecting that we couldn't go there anymore. i hurt so much. everything is too hard for me.tears, could anyone help me?
thanks for reading,
kerria
Posted by B2chica on May 25, 2006, at 14:34:27
In reply to Feeling so rejected by past T- so apart, posted by kerria on May 25, 2006, at 14:20:55
oh ((((((((((kerria))))))))))))
i'm so sorry about your episode with your T. i think it was insensitive to say the least for him to criticize parts of you that you can't control.
but i wasn't sure from your post...are you looking for someone else?
was this a one time episode with your T or is he continually non-caring or not understanding.
have you told him how he makes you feel? i think you should.
and does he specialize in DID? should you consider switching to someone who does?>>i saw one T- a woman who specialized in DID- it was at the same office where i was dx with DID - and i was so upset to find myself there again by The interview was traumatic because of leaving the other T so badly- she wouldn't take me because i wasn't doing well enough.
??? seriously? because you weren't doing well enough? are you kidding?
that peeves me off. it's like teachers who only want to 'teach' the gifted kids. the ones that really need help are left in the dirt... i think it's horrible.
but if that's the case you are Much better off without her and there IS someone better you will find.sweetheart you just sound like you are in so much pain (physically and pscyhologically)
i'm sorry i can't fix things for you. but know i'm here and i care.
b2c
Posted by kerria on May 25, 2006, at 14:57:13
In reply to Re: Feeling so rejected by past T- so apart, posted by B2chica on May 25, 2006, at 14:34:27
Thank you B2c.
i left that T at the end of March and tried to go back once since but he hadn't changed- he wasn't sorry how he was to me. he kept sayin 'the relationship was irreparable' over and over to make me feel worse - why would he be so uncaring?
Inside i hear answers against me. tears.
It's a mess - everything is so much a mess inside.Now i went back to the T that i saw before i found i had DID- he doesn't have DID patients. i wasn't able to find anyone else and we're in too much chaos to look anymore. He cares but isn't helping as much as i need because he doesn't know my parts. It's so hard because i don't either. It will take a long time before he can help and it's so hard now. i don't know what to expext when i have the surgery. no one will be there to help.
i'm panicking - i don't think that i can do it without a lot of help. Thanks for understanding how hard it is,
kerria
Posted by B2chica on May 25, 2006, at 15:15:13
In reply to Re: Feeling so rejected by past T- so apart » B2chica, posted by kerria on May 25, 2006, at 14:57:13
do you have a pdoc? is there anyway he/she can refer you to anyone? or maybe a general physician can?
that's a hard call. and i now how tiring it is to 'look' for a T. right now i'm not seeing anyone mostly cuz i'm burnt out on trying to find anyone 'decent'. so i'm enjoying the break, but it's a matter of time before things i didn't clear out start to resurface.
with your surgery coming...what about family members? or close friends for now?i know it's not much but we're here. before during and after your surgery.
but i do know that having someone IRL would be much better for what you are struggling with.best wishes to you my friend.
(((((((((((extra hugs)))))))))))))
b2c.
Posted by muffled on May 26, 2006, at 21:05:48
In reply to Feeling so rejected by past T- so apart, posted by kerria on May 25, 2006, at 14:20:55
This is the end of the thread.
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