![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 15 of 15. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by rjlockhart on July 15, 2007, at 14:21:43
Yes Tonight i am very out of my mind,
im not crazy but i need to tell you something that since i dont go to a psychologist i will tell it psychobabble.
There have been many people in life that have done me wrong, and i have had it. Now if your getting bored reading this fine, go to another post.
I really have a split side of me that no one knows, it has been created mainly because of emotions.
What im about to tell you, my anger has turned into insanity. Now i want you to tell me for a fact that im not insane, YOU TELL ME FOR A FACT THAT ITS NOT ME ITS JUST IN MY MIND! YOU TELL ME THAT!
There, i cant i am dealing with both anger and emotions here. People in life have made me treated like a matt, which is my f*cking name by the way.
There is a person that has made fun of me at work, and many others, and then they give me a stare. I have given a intense stare back exept i see that person's blood. Now thats over and done with. But im serious the evil eye can take you bad places, i took care of that person corperatly through the GAP. But i can you, she has humliated and riducled me, and really i need advice before i go to some website about revenge and advice on how to get her back. This is not anyhting serious to worry about, im just out of my mind with madness.
Now i want to tell you that i am trying to stay as sane as i can. And i dont have evil intentions but towards the people that have done, riduculed me, maybe its my perception of it, and thats what makes me this way. I have many friends, but in my perceptions they are backstabbing immature, spoiled hippocrites. I sound like a person thats "alone" no i have friends, but im telling you that this is my "other" side. Im very nice even if they are *ssholes, but in my head, i pray to god they get revenge.
Now this all started with one small thing about my stepdad telling me what i not to do when im 20 years old.
I have so many secrets i want to tell but they are to personal and they would make me look bad.
I need your help and support from here. Please
M
Posted by rjlockhart on July 15, 2007, at 14:21:43
In reply to I am feeling very serious and i need YOU to talk, posted by rjlockhart on July 15, 2007, at 1:02:09
this is confidential. Please if your reading this dont babblemail me.
If my mother finds out she will punish me.
Im just so frustrated and sad with life.
I'll just put my happy face mask on and act normal.
Posted by KayeBaby on July 15, 2007, at 14:21:46
In reply to Re: I am feeling very serious and i need YOU to talk, posted by rjlockhart on July 15, 2007, at 1:12:57
Matt,
This is something that might be helped best by talking with a therapist. You do not have to feel this way.A professional can show you how to process your emototions in a way that helps you to feel empowered and in control.
I know how rage feels and it is just draining. When I get so angry with people I end up mad at myself on top of that and it just builds that way. I have mostly overcome irrational anger and if the anger is causing you pain-it is irrational.
I hope you will find someone who can help you to feel better.
Peace,
Kaye
Posted by Phillipa on July 15, 2007, at 14:21:46
In reply to Re: I am feeling very serious and i need YOU to talk, posted by KayeBaby on July 15, 2007, at 10:30:36
I agree with Kayebaby when are you seeing a therapist? Love Phillipa
Posted by Zyprexa on July 15, 2007, at 14:21:46
In reply to Re: I am feeling very serious and i need YOU to talk, posted by rjlockhart on July 15, 2007, at 1:12:57
Take lots more zyprexa!
Then get a nice calming stimulant!
Posted by Racer on July 15, 2007, at 15:14:25
In reply to I am feeling very serious and i need YOU to talk, posted by rjlockhart on July 15, 2007, at 14:21:43
I don't know what to say, in response to this. What I'm hearing is anger, and it kinda feels as though you're feeling trapped inside it -- as if there's no way to let go of the anger, and get back to being yourself. I think, though, that finding a way to let it out -- safely -- would help you more than anything else.
Have you ever told us why you don't see a therapist? Are you still in school? If you are, go to the counseling center there, or the health center, if they don't have counselors, they'll refer you to someone you can see elsewhere. And you can probably find a sliding scale agency, so that you can pay yourself, without your mother knowing. (Although, frankly, I think your very best bet would be family counseling...) Therapy is especially good for this sort of thing, and I urge you to find access to a good therapist.
As for what you're talking about here, I think you're getting caught up in one perspective. Maybe if you put a little effort into looking at the other person's side of it, you might have an easier time letting it go.
I also think, in my opinion only, based only on what you've posted here over time, that you might have an easier time of it if you found a way to let go of the "insanity/madness" framework. You haven't said what your official diagnosis is, but I'm betting it's unipolar depression, with or without anxiety, and with ADHD traits. Something like that, at least. Yes, according to the US government, depression is a Serious Mental Illness. But it's very, very different from anything called "insanity." You're not "mad" or "insane." You're having troubles that relate primarily to your age and life circumstances. MANY of us have had similar circumstances, similar troubles. Most of us emerged without "insanity" such as you seem to define it. You probably will, too.
I think, in fact, that if you were willing to look at your experiences as being a normal part of growing up, and not as pathological, you might find life an awful lot easier.
Peace.
Posted by Maria01 on July 15, 2007, at 15:32:06
In reply to I am feeling very serious and i need YOU to talk, posted by rjlockhart on July 15, 2007, at 14:21:43
I agree with the others who have suggested following up with someone you can speak with in person. Since you are over the age of 18, you can see a counselor or therapist without your family knowing about it. Talking this thru with someone in person would be the best solution.
If you are still feeling overwhelmed by rage, anger and a desire for revenge against the co-worker, it would be in your best interest to see a therapist. If you feel you cannot wait until tomorrow, the best bet would be to go to the nearest emergency room and ask to speak with someone there. There are staff on duty 24/7 to assist those who are in crisis. They can also help you determine if you are of danger to yourself or to others. There is only so much an online community can do.
If you don't have access to any other resource, contact a crisis line. If anything, it will give you a chance to vent and to come up with some options for you. The volunteers on these lines are well-trained and will not judge you for what you are feeling. It's their desire to help those in crisis. Either way, it is ultimately up to you to seek help and to learn how to deal with your feelings.
Good luck to you.
Posted by Phillipa on July 15, 2007, at 21:01:40
In reply to Re: I am feeling very serious and i need YOU to talk, posted by Maria01 on July 15, 2007, at 15:32:06
Do you have your own insurance now that you are working? If not there are mental health clinics with therapists that work on a sliding scale based on your salary. Love Phillipa
Posted by rjlockhart on July 16, 2007, at 0:30:09
In reply to Re: I am feeling very serious and i need YOU to talk » KayeBaby, posted by Phillipa on July 15, 2007, at 14:21:46
I self talk in my head to calm myself down. Before i do something i should not do.
Now its again night time, 12:07 currently, i am like this at night. I have another part of me that comes out. You know the biggest regret taht i feel..............is not doing something i should of.
Now during the day.............i forget what i do right now. Now its perfect what i said last night. When i wake up in the morning im very nice nad everything.
The reason i know im not a psychopath is because i have feelings for others, but when someone screws me around, im going to be honest, im very mellow, i dont know what to say,
You know i realize the reason i am feeling all of this internal hell is because i do not know what to socialize about, thats why in past i have taken amphetamines, speed to do this.
You know for a online communitity i am glad for advice you are giving me. What i really want is someone to tell me how to get even with someone, i almost went to a freaking "demonic" for advice but you know what does is it turns on you!
What i see myself is an outsider because i cant really talk about things. It makes me depressed, insantly i thought it was other that where doing this to me.
Now What i feel like doing to this person XXX XXX after whats she has done to me, she will gossip and try to be funny. You know i cant stand a person that is like this. I would really throw her across the room if i saw her again.
Thats why at the GAP me and her are definely not scheduled, together. They know we will fight.
But in concluision i need to calm down after this tear, and be civil but you i just got to express my emotions somewhere.
And this is secret only with you all.
So thank you and i appriciate all everyone of you all's advice.
M
Posted by Deputy Racer on July 16, 2007, at 2:51:31
In reply to Re: I am feeling very serious and i need YOU to talk, posted by rjlockhart on July 16, 2007, at 0:30:09
>
> Now What i feel like doing to this person XXX XXX after whats she has done to me, she will gossip and try to be funny.I've revised this post to exclude the name you included here. Please do not post the names or other personal information of others here without their consent. This includes people who do not post here, and those you're currently angry with.
If you have any questions about board policies, please read the FAQ, located at http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#civil Any follow ups to this action should be directed to the Administration board, and should themselves be civil.
Dr Bob has ultimate authority over any and all administrative actions at this site, and may choose to revise or reverse any deputy action.
Deputy Racer
Posted by Glydin on July 16, 2007, at 4:52:09
In reply to Re: I am feeling very serious and i need YOU to talk, posted by rjlockhart on July 16, 2007, at 0:30:09
> And this is secret only with you all.
>~~~ No rj, this is not a secret board. This is a very PUBLIC board accessable to anyone with internet capabilities - which is durn near everyone these days.
I urge you to see RL help. While I find your difficulties unfortunate and wish for you to get the help you need, I cannot help but feel concern and uncomfortable for myself and the community at large when I read of your thoughts of revenge and rage AND the naming of names.... and this isn't the first time you have posted as such. I believe there is the potential for problems for the community as well as for yourself.
Real life help IS your only good solution, IMO. And I believe that has been true for a LONG while.
I empathize with your need to vent but posting as you do, on this very PUBLICALLY accessable board, could get you into a world of trouble.
Posted by JoniS on July 16, 2007, at 7:00:05
In reply to I am feeling very serious and i need YOU to talk, posted by rjlockhart on July 15, 2007, at 14:21:43
Revenge is NEVER healing, and always destructive for the one seeking revenge. Rise above your co-workers behavior. Dont let it define you. Seek expert help from a very qualified psychologist, because they know how to help. Basically what you get from this board is encouragement, but usually unqualified advice, that you have to filter and know that everyone means well. It is overwhelming to try to help you, because you need and deserve expert help.
Revenge will not make you feel better, down deep inside yourself.
Best of luck to you.
Posted by Rocklobsterwoman on July 16, 2007, at 16:40:45
In reply to Re: I am feeling very serious and i need YOU to talk, posted by JoniS on July 16, 2007, at 7:00:05
JoniS has given some excellent advice, as well as everyone else here.
There is a saying: Being happy is the best "revenge".
The common thread throughout these posts is that you seek a qualified therapist. The question is, why do you balk at this overwhelmingly popular suggestion???
For you to find peace of mind - "revenge" - a therapist is the logical next step.
Posted by Dr. Bob on July 16, 2007, at 22:24:50
In reply to Re: I am feeling very serious and i need YOU to talk, posted by rjlockhart on July 16, 2007, at 0:30:09
> What i really want is someone to tell me how to get even with someone
>
> i need to calm down after this tear, and be civil but you i just got to express my emotions somewhere.Please don't use this site to exchange information that could be used to harm others. It can be therapeutic to express yourself, but this isn't necessarily the place.
But please don't take this personally, this doesn't mean I don't like you or think you're a bad person. And I don't want anything bad to happen to you. In a crisis, please also get help in person. You may also wish to check out a listing compiled by a poster of helpful web pages on coping with crisis at:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/psycho-babble-tips/links/Coping_with_crisis_001012507973
If you or others have questions about this or about posting policies in general, please first see the FAQ:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#civil
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#enforceFollow-ups regarding these issues should be redirected to Psycho-Babble Administration.
Thanks,
Bob
PS: According to the new formula:
different type of incivility: yes
block length = 1 week
Posted by Sigismund on July 17, 2007, at 15:35:21
In reply to Re: I am feeling very serious and i need YOU to talk, posted by rjlockhart on July 16, 2007, at 0:30:09
What's that saying?
'Revenge is a dish that is best served cold'?
Sounds a bit Stalinist though.
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Psychology | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.