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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 23 of 23. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by slugdoo on July 18, 2007, at 9:34:20
is that a feeling? I can't concentrate, my head is spinning with thoughts. I forgot to eat lunch yesterday, it was dinner time and I am like why am I so hungry. I got lost driving yesterday. Doing dumb mistakes.
Feeling weird, never felt this kind of weird before. I thought a good nights sleep would help, but I still feel disoriented.
I think I am angry. Being a parent, I told my T, I just can't see how my parents did what they did. They are sick, they are mean. It doesn't make any sense no matter how hard I try to come up with a reason.
I feel calm but uneasy and unsettled at the same time. What the hell is wrong with me? Did EMDR do this, did therapy do this?
Posted by LadyBug on July 18, 2007, at 10:07:54
In reply to feeling weird, posted by slugdoo on July 18, 2007, at 9:34:20
I've never done EMDR before so I have no idea but I doubt therapy did this to you. Do you feel like you have the flu or something? I have no idea what it could be but I hope it passes for you quickly! Are you extremely tired? Stressed? I think that might contribute to the way you feel.
Sorry your having a hard time.
LadyBug
Posted by antigua3 on July 18, 2007, at 12:13:01
In reply to feeling weird, posted by slugdoo on July 18, 2007, at 9:34:20
Sometimes I would feel "off" for a few days after having EMDR. I think it stirs around different parts of our brain that we aren't used to having "stirred." I'm not just talkng about the therapy part, either, and what EMDR brings up. It is known for bringing things forward afterwards as well, so your feelings seem right on to me.
Take it easy on yourself, and just keep saying to yourself that you're not your parents and while it's impossible at times to even try to understand why things happened, they just did.
take care,
antigua
Posted by Nathan_Arizona on July 18, 2007, at 12:18:29
In reply to feeling weird, posted by slugdoo on July 18, 2007, at 9:34:20
I don't the therapy per se did this, but some of the issues that have come up in therapy lately may be preoccupying you.
It is very hard to wrap your brain around some of the things that parents can do to children. It is only natural, I think, that you would be very very angry, confused and a little dazed when you really start to deal with it.
For me, it was like I was going through the stages of grief and - like you - kind of got locked in the anger phase. There is absolutely positively no excuse for what happened to us. I just don't know what else to say.
For me, also came the realization that things weren't ALL bad when I was a kid - and then balancing that anger with the strong desire to cling to the good things really set me off balance for several months.
It's okay.
During this time I think it is SOOOOO important that you take really good care of yourself. You have to be very brave and allow yourself to work through this, but coupled with that you have to nurture yourself as well.
So you get lost, so you skipped lunch, so you cry at the drop of a hat - it's okay.
You will process it and you will come out the other side.
Sending good nurturing thoughts your way
NA
Posted by Phillipa on July 18, 2007, at 12:22:59
In reply to Re: feeling weird » slugdoo, posted by Nathan_Arizona on July 18, 2007, at 12:18:29
NA really not trying to hyjack but I get so worked up I'm afraid to go out at all and by the way what is EMDR? Love Phillipa
Posted by B2chica on July 18, 2007, at 13:03:33
In reply to Re: feeling weird » Nathan_Arizona, posted by Phillipa on July 18, 2007, at 12:22:59
Posted by B2chica on July 18, 2007, at 13:06:34
In reply to eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (nm) » Phillipa, posted by B2chica on July 18, 2007, at 13:03:33
i guess i forgot to mention a-bit about it...i've never had it but it is supposed to be a good method for helping those is PTSD.
i think it is a mesh of types of psychotherapy and uses eye movement like rapid left right movement. i'm afraid i don't know much more...those who do please chime in.
Posted by TherapyGirl on July 18, 2007, at 18:13:48
In reply to feeling weird, posted by slugdoo on July 18, 2007, at 9:34:20
I've felt this way before when I'm tackling a tough, tough issue in therapy. It's usually when I'm on emotional overload. I forget things, get lost driving around, feel like there's a fog in my head that won't lift.
Sorry you're feeling this way and I hope it passes soon.
Posted by muffled on July 18, 2007, at 22:39:48
In reply to feeling weird, posted by slugdoo on July 18, 2007, at 9:34:20
Posted by Sigismund on July 19, 2007, at 3:29:18
In reply to Re: eye movement desensitization and reprocessing, posted by B2chica on July 18, 2007, at 13:06:34
Nothing to do with neurolinguistic programming?
I imagined that EMDR stood for electro magnetic deep resonance or somesuch.
Posted by slugdoo on July 19, 2007, at 7:21:01
In reply to Re: feeling weird » slugdoo, posted by LadyBug on July 18, 2007, at 10:07:54
Hi Ladybug,
I don't think I am sick or anything, but my son has come down with a sore throat last night. I think it is the stress of my life combined with the stress of going into the past I think.
I am trying to just get through the day, I see my T in 5 days, so I gotta just hang on. Thanks LB
Posted by slugdoo on July 19, 2007, at 7:25:02
In reply to Re: feeling weird » slugdoo, posted by antigua3 on July 18, 2007, at 12:13:01
I think you might be right Antigua, it is how I feel. It has been 2 years since I did EMDR and I guess I forgot how intense it is.
I remember last time I did it, a LOT surfaced even later that night. It wasn't all bad memories either, there was some good ones mixed in.. My T said that was normal to have forgotten good memories along with the bad.
I guess I am surprised, because we only got through 1 1/2 finger movements. Oh, yeah, then he did one afterwards to calm me down.
Now I want to see my T , but now I am kinda scared too. Thanks antigua
Posted by gardenergirl on July 19, 2007, at 9:05:05
In reply to Re: feeling weird » antigua3, posted by slugdoo on July 19, 2007, at 7:25:02
I've felt like that after therapy sessions before. It's like a therapy hangover. Sleep usually was the cure I went for.
Take care,
gg
Posted by slugdoo on July 19, 2007, at 11:52:43
In reply to Re: feeling weird » slugdoo, posted by Nathan_Arizona on July 18, 2007, at 12:18:29
Hi Nate,
I like all that you said, I think a lot of it is ture. I thought I had all the anger out over this, but recent stuff I guess proves otherwise.
I was kinda surpried when I was telling him what was going on, that I said I am so angry. I was crying at the time but I said it so bluntly that I kinda shocked myself. He said, yes, and you have a right to be angry. Even though he said there are no reasons for what happened to me that would validate what they did and why, I still look for the answers. I just can't imagine doing what my parents did to my kids.
Today I bought a computer desk to organize my office, and of course it is one that requires assembly, my DD 12, wanted to put it together, so I let her do .( my attention span, attempting that would be a bad idea)lol She made a few mistakes, but nothing that bad and she was so upset that she messed it up. We looked at the mistakes, and nothing was unfixable or noticable, and she felt a lot better. My mom would never let me do something like that, and if I did make a mistake, I would have been punished for being so stupid. I am so glad I am not like her.
So how do you get rid of anger?
Thanks Nate for everything.
Posted by slugdoo on July 19, 2007, at 11:54:14
In reply to Re: feeling weird » Nathan_Arizona, posted by Phillipa on July 18, 2007, at 12:22:59
Hi Phillipa,
Check out EMDR.com and it will answer a lot of your questions about it.
By the way, I still plan on taking that picture of Phillipa street for you. :-)
Posted by slugdoo on July 19, 2007, at 11:55:36
In reply to Re: feeling weird » slugdoo, posted by TherapyGirl on July 18, 2007, at 18:13:48
Hi TherapyGirl,
Emotional overload I think is what it is , thanks , that helps.
Posted by slugdoo on July 19, 2007, at 11:58:19
In reply to mebbe some dissociation? (nm) » slugdoo, posted by muffled on July 18, 2007, at 22:39:48
Muffy,
I wish you would explain more about this, it is kinda of upsetting to hear that word that is associated with split personalities, used to discribe what I was feeling. Can you tell me why you think that?
Posted by slugdoo on July 19, 2007, at 12:00:26
In reply to Re: feeling weird, posted by gardenergirl on July 19, 2007, at 9:05:05
Thanks GG,
Sleep hasn't helped and I am having trouble in yoga focusing on the breath, when so much is spinning in my head. I tried to focus on th e 3rd eye, and that helped a little.
Posted by slugdoo on July 19, 2007, at 12:01:49
In reply to Re: feeling weird, posted by slugdoo on July 19, 2007, at 12:00:26
Posted by muffled on July 19, 2007, at 15:35:30
In reply to Re: mebbe some dissociation? » muffled, posted by slugdoo on July 19, 2007, at 11:58:19
> Muffy,
>
> I wish you would explain more about this, it is kinda of upsetting to hear that word that is associated with split personalities, used to discribe what I was feeling. Can you tell me why you think that?**Dissociation is everyday stuff. On a continuum. Daydream to DID. Dissoc only means that stuff is filed a little diff in your brain. No biggie. You take care OK.
M
Posted by Nathan_Arizona on July 19, 2007, at 16:02:12
In reply to Re: feeling weird » Nathan_Arizona, posted by slugdoo on July 19, 2007, at 11:52:43
Well, I KNOW you are a much better mom than yours. You can take a lot of pride in the fact that the cycle of abuse stopped with YOU! You have no idea how amazing that is and how it speaks directly to your intelligence and spirit.
You will stop being mad when you are ready to stop being mad and for me it was a very gradual process.
During my recovery, there was a lot of "looking back" that I had to do and I spent a lot of time in my childhood - although I was clearly an adult.
Eventually though, I started "looking around" at the present and ultimately "looking forward" to the future and when I started doing that, being mad about the past seemed less important to being happy in the present.
You'll stop being mad when you're ready.
NA
Posted by slugdoo on July 19, 2007, at 17:13:52
In reply to Letting go of the anger, posted by Nathan_Arizona on July 19, 2007, at 16:02:12
> Well, I KNOW you are a much better mom than yours. You can take a lot of pride in the fact that the cycle of abuse stopped with YOU! You have no idea how amazing that is and how it speaks directly to your intelligence and spirit.
Thank you for that, my T reminds me of this a lot. I was worried about having kids, but now I am so glad I have them, they mean so much to me.
> You will stop being mad when you are ready to stop being mad and for me it was a very gradual process.It must be gradual, I thought I was mostly over it, we talked about it in therapy soooo much. I think that is why my T was ready for termination mostly. But I guess it wasn't that easy. More work needs to be done.
Recently my son was on TV and did such a fine job, and I just wanted to tell everyone, to see how great he is, and how proud I am of him.
But mom (hard to use that word, maybe biological thing?) she choose to pick one of the most embarresting moments of my life when I was 13 and I messed up on stage at a talent show. I was reminded constantly that I was a loser.Thought it was sooo funny, I choked on stage. I even cut the tape and got in major trouble for that one. but they taped it back so they can humiluate me even more. And this was just one thing they did. ONE THING.
Another thing they did that was related to this was when I went to college I forgot a box of stuff. Well in that box was cassette tapes of all my performances ( the good ones). They taped over them. That was my history, the good part of me, and it was nothing to them, they just erased it, just like that. They are sick sick sick!
Besides physical abuse, what is it emotional abuse? All my pictures taken of me where embarrasing stuff, like wetting the bed, me pouting, crying after they well, you know, nothing was "happy moments". My T once started to say about seeing old pictures of me under the xmas tree, on how nobody knew what I was going through. And I am like , well there were no pictures of me and the xmas tree. There are no happy pictures that were taken. Maybe nobody was happy so the only pictures taken were to embarraess me? I just don't know what kind of animals (and animals doesn't seem to fit either, i love animals) maybe monsters? I just dont' know what to call them.
I just wish I would stop remember this sh*t, it hurts so much.
> During my recovery, there was a lot of "looking back" that I had to do and I spent a lot of time in my childhood - although I was clearly an adult.
>
>
I hope someday I can get to the same place as you. Maybe when she is dead, it will help, I don't know, because the memories aren't dead and they still hurt me.
Posted by slugdoo on July 19, 2007, at 17:19:52
In reply to Letting go of the anger, posted by Nathan_Arizona on July 19, 2007, at 16:02:12
What really makes me angry, is that I have to go over it all again in my memories, as if the actuall event wasn't bad enough. sigh
This is the end of the thread.
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