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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 6 of 6. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by muffled on July 25, 2007, at 0:36:00
Am I TOTALLY unrealistic here?
I have written something similiar B4, and Dinah gave an EXCELLENT answer, BUT....
My T ISN'T "there" for me :-( This is the whine part.
I am an adult, and I have learned my coping stuff, and T thinks I doing so good so she trying to terminate, but I am a wimp. This is the wimp part.
But I DON'T understand...as Dinah says, T is 'there' in that she wishes me well. I know this, this is good. I also think she meant that she wanted me to understand clearly that she NOT dumping me.
BUT, somehow, as usual, I have managed to get it all turned round in my head to thinking it means: that she is 'there' for me to support me when I get all messed like I do sometimes...but of course that is irrational for me to think such a thing. Thats the dumb**ss part.
NOONE is 'there' totally for ANYbody. I kinda wished she hadn't of said that. She said it to the ikid too. Mebbe thats where the prob is comming from, why I can't seem to let this go.
Or mebbe I just getting all messed and wish I could hear her being calm. She makes me calmer. But now its like she don't exist.
I wish she was not so gone :-(
Ikids so sad.
Things getting messed.
Screamers been screaming.
So T is NOT "there" for me is she? IS SHE???????
I getting mad and messed.
See, I am a whining dumb**ss.
So the point is...I guess I'd regret it if I left a voicemail telling her this stuff?
Proly piss her off lots.
Or worse, just make her feel bad.
M
Posted by muffled on July 25, 2007, at 0:48:13
In reply to Am I a whiner, wimp, dumb*ss or what???, posted by muffled on July 25, 2007, at 0:36:00
that maybe i getting stressed some bout our trip.
We never go far, not in MANY years. And the uncertainty of where we gonna land our trailer each night gnaws at me...
I'm not used to towing...
I'm going outside my comfort zone...
What if its REALLY hot, I hate heat and A/C only works on trailer if we plugged into heavy duty power...
What we gonna do w/dog? She hates the p/up box...
My DD is freakin bout rattlesnakes, cuz her Dad says theres rattlers in alberta....
My son is not feeling well today....
etc etc
WHAT has happened to me? I used to be so intrepid. I am shrivelling into myself with age...
I think once we get going I'll be fine.
Hubby and I will fight like crazy, hubby will be utterly intolerant of the kids...for the first few days, then we will get used to each other again and it will settle down.
Mebbe I should be called 'nervous nellie, not muffled...
M
Posted by LlurpsieNoodle on July 25, 2007, at 11:41:13
In reply to Am I a whiner, wimp, dumb*ss or what???, posted by muffled on July 25, 2007, at 0:36:00
>NOONE is 'there' totally for ANYbody. I kinda wished she hadn't of said that. She said it to the ikid too. Mebbe thats where the prob is comming from, why I can't seem to let this go.
Or mebbe I just getting all messed and wish I could hear her being calm. She makes me calmer. But now its like she don't exist.
I wish she was not so gone :-(
Ikids so sad.
Things getting messed.
(((((muffled))))))That sounds SO hard. no wonder you're stressed out. you have learned to rely on her good judgement and her ability to soothe you. There's absolutely nothing "wimpy" about wanting to be taken care of. It's one of our primal instincts. Remember, humans are a very defenseless species. no claws, stupid dull teeth, thin hide. We HAVE to rely on others to help us in difficult times.
And yeah, you're probably stressed about the trip. I know *I* was stressed about my trip and that's why I cancelled it. I cancelled it twice, after deciding that hopping on a plane would send me into a tailspin because the connecting flight is through Chicago. Too familiar territory, you know? Site of many dissociations.
And husband and kids and dog. you care about them and don't want strife. Just take the plunge and get in the vehicle and head to Alberta. Sounds cool. Wish I could go to Alberta...
I wish you a safe and happy trip. See you when you get back, post a little tonight if it would help you?
-Ll
Posted by Dinah on July 25, 2007, at 15:17:06
In reply to Its just occurred to me..., posted by muffled on July 25, 2007, at 0:48:13
I *hate* the period before I go somewhere. I absolutely dread going, and only go to make my family happy.
Yet once I go, I rarely find that I dislike it.
And while the idea of sharing close quarters with my family would also make me nervous, I have to say that nothing was as good for my marriage as being forced to spend a month together in a hotel room. I thought we'd drive each other nuts, but we got closer I think.
Posted by slugdoo on July 25, 2007, at 20:26:45
In reply to Re: Am I a whiner, wimp, dumb*ss or what??? » muffled, posted by LlurpsieNoodle on July 25, 2007, at 11:41:13
You are NOT a dumbass, whiner or a wimp Muffy!
;-)
So enough already. :-)
Posted by TherapyGirl on July 25, 2007, at 20:50:09
In reply to Re: Am I a whiner, wimp, dumb*ss or what???, posted by slugdoo on July 25, 2007, at 20:26:45
I second what 'Doo said. :-)
(((((Muffled)))))))
This is the end of the thread.
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