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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 15 of 15. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Happyflower on June 15, 2008, at 14:43:07
You know the more I think about me "being delusional", I believe HE is the one who is really delusional. If he doesn't believe what he did to me, hurt me and harmed me, then let's just see how the court sees my "delusion" of his actions he did as my therapist. Then we will know for real who is delusional. I am going to tell him he owes me an apology. Maybe his intent wasn't to hurt me, but his boundaries he used were on the slippery slope of therapy and it did hurt me badly. I want him to own his part of it. If he doesn't know the hurt he caused, I plan on telling him EVERYTHING he did.
Yeah, I understand the power differential in this relationship because I am just the crazy delusional client, and he is a Phd. with 20Plus years of experience, it is so easy to use that manipulation of power in these circumstances against me. F*ck*r
Posted by Happyflower on June 15, 2008, at 14:56:32
In reply to F*ck him, posted by Happyflower on June 15, 2008, at 14:43:07
I would like to challenge that f*ck*r to a lie detector, just to prove what he did, what he said and how he behaved with me. I have witnesses too, a formal client and instructor at gym who saw the stuff he did. But even my T said he will probably only become defensive because he thinks he is so perfect and can't do no wrong. f*ck*r
Posted by muffled on June 15, 2008, at 15:15:39
In reply to Re: F*ck him, posted by Happyflower on June 15, 2008, at 14:56:32
sigh, bless you HF. It IS hard isn't it :-(
I'm so sorry. Our relationships w/our T's ARE SO intense, or can be. And yours w/your T was especially so. You are an intense passionate woman. Its one of your wonderfulnessess!!!But hard to live with at times.
I hope you can call your t if your really struggling with this. He is there to help you thru the hard stuff of life, and this is HARD.
Try and take especially good care of yourself at this time.
Deep breaths.
I'll be thinking of you and hoping for some peace to come your way.
M
Posted by Happyflower on June 15, 2008, at 15:32:22
In reply to (((((HF))))), posted by muffled on June 15, 2008, at 15:15:39
Thanks Muffy,
You know as a child I couldn't do anything with mom who abused me, and now it has been too many years to do anything about it and my main witness, my brother, is gone.
Well dammit, I can do something about this. It is called therapist abuse. My hurt for his actions are his responsiblity to deal with. If I get no peace from this meeting with him owning his part, I will seek peace through the courts. Getting justice for what he did, so he can't do it to another person again. I will tell ALL in court and he will have his tail between his legs.
I have spent a lifetime of not being able to tell, and then when I did, some don't believe me. Well I will tell everything and prove he is guilty beyond a doubt to everyone in this world, not just in court. He doesn't admit to his failings, I will seek it out in a money settlement, at least pay for the quack sessions I paid for and the sessions I have paid for to get help from another therapist. f*ck*r
Posted by Happyflower on June 15, 2008, at 15:55:10
In reply to Re: (((((HF))))), posted by Happyflower on June 15, 2008, at 15:32:22
Must be a warning for my T, lol. I am not sure if it will help though.
Posted by seldomseen on June 15, 2008, at 17:16:44
In reply to F*ck him, posted by Happyflower on June 15, 2008, at 14:43:07
Who said you were delusional?
Did I miss that?
Seldom.
Posted by Happyflower on June 15, 2008, at 17:43:09
In reply to Did I miss something?, posted by seldomseen on June 15, 2008, at 17:16:44
Well my current T is the one said that my old T probably thinks that.(I wrote about it in one of my earlier posts) This is the thing, he never has used that word before with me, but my old T used it A LOT. So it could be coincidence, but I have a feeling my T's have been talking. Now I know it is allowed for my T to hear what my old T says as long as he doesn't divulge what my current T and I talk about with him.Plus I know they get together once a month with other T's to discuss EMDR clients. Maybe my old T found my special poem to him on the net and it defending himself? Who knows?
But anyway, however my T came to say that, I am angry at my current T too I think. How dare someone even in that context say someone thinks I am delusional. Damn it, I have had to deal with a life time of not telling my abuses, because my mom said nobody would believe me or she would threatened my life.
Now I am telling of what my T did, and my current T says that. Even if my old T might think that or does think that, or even if current T thinks I am NOT delusional, I think it was unkind for my current T to even say that.
Posted by Happyflower on June 15, 2008, at 17:46:50
In reply to Re: Did I miss something? » seldomseen, posted by Happyflower on June 15, 2008, at 17:43:09
My current T said that he thinks my old T is having a hard time with how things ended between us. He never said that before to me this entire year that we have discussed this issue. I mentioned that yeah, I used to think very highly of him. And then T said well his ego is probably what is having trouble. Now why say this now? He never said any of this before. And why should I give a sh*t about my old T's ego?
Posted by Annierose on June 15, 2008, at 18:52:38
In reply to also » Happyflower, posted by Happyflower on June 15, 2008, at 17:46:50
Taking this through the court system will not be the picnic you think. And it is expensive ... it may cost tens of thousands of dollars. No attorney would take this case on pro bono as no physical abuse occured. It's his professional word against yours.
I'm sorry you are so angry right now. This is something you should continue with your current therapist. You probably will not get the peace you are seeking with your past therapist. The peace you need is within.
Your work with T2 is just beginning. And look how far you have gone in a year. Continue working with your feelings. Revenge is not pretty or sweet.
Posted by muffled on June 15, 2008, at 19:51:42
In reply to Re: also, posted by Annierose on June 15, 2008, at 18:52:38
Well, you may or may not get what you might wish for in terms of your oldT. But y'know, its good in a way that you are being able to feel and express your anger. Guess you had to stash alot of anger as a kid :-(
But anger is a powerful emotion.....truly HF I hope you can take this to your T and work thru it with him. There's proly alot of deep seated stuff inside you that is comming up with this whole incredibly triggering situation.
Eventually this will get worked thru and be OK. Maybe hard to beleive at this moment, cuz it feels so strong and hurts so much, but it can be worked thru. You got what it takes HF. I just am SO impressed how you have come thru what you did and you raising GREAT kids yourself DESPITE all :-)
You keep remembering how special you really are HF, and never mind so much that dumb oldT.
Please take good care.
I know this is a really tough one for you.
Have you phoned your T to tell him how triggered you are?
Do you have a plan for if your oldT does try to contact you one way or another?
Please reach out and accept all the support you can.
Remember, your a special person, you can rise above this.
M
Posted by Happyflower on June 15, 2008, at 20:06:30
In reply to Re: also, posted by muffled on June 15, 2008, at 19:51:42
oh, Muffy, Thanks. My current T already knows this and has heard all of what I have said here. I am not feeling triggered(it isn't that bad), just justified anger I believe. I feel this anger might be a good thing, getting it out. I have mixed feelings too, I still have found memories too. I told my current T that it feels like when you are mad at your kids. It is hard, because you care a lot about them and love them, but sometimes they still make you angry. It is a confusing feeling, a guilty feeling, that I wished I didn't feel. Part of my posting above is probably mostly a vent about this. I probably wouldn't have the time or money to even spend on this in court but I know I would have a case, that is for sure.
I requested to my T in writing and by a phone message that I wanted to have a session, and to call or email me back.
I am just feeling mad right now, the intensity will pass, so really I am okay, just angry. I worked out at the gym today really hard today and it helped. I told my T in the letter that if this can't get worked out, and if I can't feel good about seeing him there, that I was going to quit the gym, but only as a last resort. I really like it there, the people are so friendly and I have made a lot of friends there. So who knows.
Muffy, I know you care, and are wanting the best for me. I think in my heart I need to confront him, because not much has helped. Thanks again.
Posted by seldomseen on June 15, 2008, at 20:16:42
In reply to Re: Did I miss something? » seldomseen, posted by Happyflower on June 15, 2008, at 17:43:09
Hold the phone here a sec sweetie okay?
I don't think your current T is the enemy at all here. I think, from what you've said, he has consistently been in your corner and ready to commit to you and your recovery. It certainly sounds as though he believes what you have said about your previous T and doesn't think you are delusional at all. If anything I think he has strongly allied himself with you and seeks to protect.
I have no idea what how your T will react to you reaching out to him. No one does. I still think though you have the power in this situation to seek the resolution you want and deserve.
Have you heard anything from your previous T yet?
Seldom.
Posted by Dinah on June 15, 2008, at 22:19:58
In reply to Re: also » muffled, posted by Happyflower on June 15, 2008, at 20:06:30
It sounds as if you might suspect your current therapist has discussed you, directly or indirectly, with your old therapist. I think that would make me angry too. I don't want to think of my therapist talking about me with anyone, even if he didn't use names. I cringe at how he might describe me.
Maybe he just knows your old therapist enough to guess what he'd think. While I was seeing T3, my therapist was very careful to try to smooth my ruffled feathers about her. But the fact that he knew her was obvious.
Before you get too angry with your current therapist, maybe you should ask him directly? I'm guessing you trust him enough to believe his answer.
Your old therapist it's fine to be angry with. But I agree with Annierose. Bringing him to court would probably be at least as hard on you as it would be on him, and expensive. I'm not saying you should forgive him. But doesn't it hurt to carry that anger around. For your own sake, mightn't it be good to work on that anger with your current therapist?
Posted by Phillipa on June 16, 2008, at 17:01:41
In reply to Re: also » Happyflower, posted by Dinah on June 15, 2008, at 22:19:58
Think I understand and also agree with AnnieRose . Phillipa
Posted by sassyfrancesca on June 18, 2008, at 14:59:30
In reply to Re: also » muffled, posted by Happyflower on June 15, 2008, at 20:06:30
My t taught me the most valuable words I'd ever heard: "Restorative Justice"
This is what you did; this is how it made me feel.
It does NOT matter what the abuser/perpetrator says thinks or does.
IT ONLY MATTERS what you (the injured) thinks about what was done to you.
I think it is the most powerful thing you can do to perform restorative justice.
ESPECIALLY for those of us (I am one, also) who was abused for such a long time.
To me, to say nothing when someone is inappropriate, cruel, etc., etc.....is like saying the abuse was okay. No one stood up for us as children, but as adults, we NOW can stand up for ourselves
Hugs, Sassy
This is the end of the thread.
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