![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 4 of 4. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by James K on January 30, 2006, at 16:29:43
For so many years, I did everything but work with drink by my side. Then 18 months with no work. By a quirk of timing, using this computer is the only activity I don't associate with drinking. I'm blasting music trying to reconnect to it sober. Movies are very hard, even in the theater because I used a flask. Reading, sex, TV, everything.
I got triggered by a post earlier today, and I've been struggling. The most important thing is that if I drink at this point in my life, I may continue hurting myself. I want to be back in the Outpatient program so bad. I'm f*cked. I was using the support there and trying to find a way to accept therapy and AA by the time I graduated. I had a hellish longterm halfway house aa experience 13 years ago. Plus I hated God for a long time, now I ignore him.
Nothing else, except maybe writing out loud and aknowledging how I'm feeling will do me or someone else some good.
How can we stand it. Time then more time just waiting for something that will just be more time.
Thank you for your attention to this matter,
James K. II
Posted by vainamoinen on January 30, 2006, at 16:33:25
In reply to cravings today, posted by James K on January 30, 2006, at 16:29:43
I feel ya', quitting's a bitch.
Posted by James K on January 31, 2006, at 11:49:00
In reply to cravings today, posted by James K on January 30, 2006, at 16:29:43
The question was asked to someone else in an earlier thread, and I think answering it is a good way to put my brain closer to reality.
One of my counselors used to call it further research and development.
I learned that I wanted to drink all day, so at some point I knew I was going to.
4 beers still feel good 8 is still too many
Hangovers are still upleasant, even mild ones.If I don't want to drink anymore, but then want to drink right now, which one is truly doing whatever I want? And since when did doing whatever I want become an acceptable standard for living my life?
This one is kind of a no harm, no foul experience, so if I can use it as reinforcement for the reasons I wanted to stop in the first place, all is not lost.
I'll have to learn and become convinced that the few hours of pleasure aren't a fair bargain for the finacial cost, physical cost, depression, and several hours of non pleasure that I put on the table.
james k
Posted by AuntieMel on January 31, 2006, at 13:32:33
In reply to What did I learn from this, posted by James K on January 31, 2006, at 11:49:00
In the IOP I went to they talked about 'playing it out to the end'
Instead of stopping at how good it would be to drink, we need to train the mind to keep on with the fantasy to it's conclusion.
Getting sloppy, embarassing ourselves, hung over the next day - and maybe not even knowing how you got where you are.
Who are you and what are you doing in my house? What? I proposed?
The idea is that it doesn't work trying to *avoid* thinking about it. So the next best thing is to play the entire movie in our heads, not just the trailers.
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Substance Use | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.