Shown: posts 1 to 4 of 4. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by youngaddict on January 2, 2007, at 19:49:07
I had 28 days sober and I lost it because I made the decision to get high. And I really loved it but at the same time I hate myself. I'm so stuck in this rut and I need to crawl out. I need to go 90 in 90 meetings get a sponser. read the literature. I was reading and going to a few meetings a week, but I didn't get a sponser or try to work any steps or anything. So of course I replapsed. But at the same time I considered myself not an addict. Just a person who likes weed and has a bit of a weed problem.
am i still in such denial?
Posted by ClearSkies on January 3, 2007, at 7:04:54
In reply to relapse once again., posted by youngaddict on January 2, 2007, at 19:49:07
From my experience of the programme, getting a sponsor right at the beginning makes a big difference. There is someone to talk to with all of your questions; someone to call when you feel that you are going to give in to addiction; and someone who really understands what you are going through. Having a common experience makes the journey just a bit easier.
Try again and don't beat yourself up!
take care,
ClearSkies
Posted by youngaddict on January 3, 2007, at 18:37:49
In reply to Re: relapse once again. » youngaddict, posted by ClearSkies on January 3, 2007, at 7:04:54
here my problem.
i don't believe i really want this for myself. i guess i must feel like i deserve to be unhappy and a f&#k up. because if i wanted it wouldn't i go for it (being clean)
maybe its because i am having a hard time admitting i am an "addict" i still refer to myself as a functional pothead. but how functional am i if i miss work and am high all the time
Posted by AuntieMel on January 5, 2007, at 8:32:43
In reply to Re: relapse once again., posted by youngaddict on January 3, 2007, at 18:37:49
Well, if it comes down to it, we *all* want to believe that we aren't addicts.
And we all want to just be able to use like "normal" people.
And there's a really, really good chance that someone who quits will feel a need to test the waters - just to see if they were really addicted.
Don't be too hard on yourself. Just get back on the horse and try the ride again.
And do a self evaluation - think about what it is that made you go back to using. Learn from it.
This is the end of the thread.
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