Posted by me-but-not-me on June 10, 2000, at 17:09:14
In reply to Shelley , posted by shar on June 9, 2000, at 21:49:29
I am taking your suggestions and posting drivel rather than not posting at all. Hope you still think it's a good idea : )
I had HORRIBLE nightmares last night, something I don't usually have. I recently doubled my dose of Effexor from 75mg to 150mg, this may be the cause. I finally did get back to sleep and woke just a bit ago, feeling literally drugged. I don't think it's my ADs because I forgot to take them last night, and haven't taken anything else. I am avoiding taking things like Ritalin that I don't have an Rx for (I work in a clinic and we pass leftover Rx drugs around, lots of us are trying to find the correct psycho-pharm solutions) because I am still very seriously considering checking-in to the hospital and I don't want them to think I have drug-seeking beh'r. (Yes, I know we aren't supposed to pass around drugs, etc. But most of you know what it's like to have a bottle of whatever-you're-not-taking-anymore lying around, and have an educated friend who wants to try it before they ask their (sometimes clueless) p-doc about it. So, no lectures please :)
Anyway, I am feeling like total crap. My head is so foggy... feels like a hangover of sorts (nope, no drinking last night - or for a while, now that I think about it!) A friend is calling bugging me to go see a funny movie. He and his girlfriend are practically trying to drag me out of the Sty (what I call my apartment!) I really appreciate his efforts, and I know I should go, but I hate everything and it's hard to want to go out. I went through my usual list of 'no' reasons, like I am not in the mood to shower (they said they wouldn't shower either),etc... They are being persistent after they realized I was/am still close to checking myself in. One of you -- Kath or Shar?-- said I must hide my depression well. You are mostly right, plus I happen to be in a 'helping' field at work and am also the friend everyone calls when they need to talk. It must be weird to have me on the other side. I know it is for me!
I am going to try to make myself go, but I feel horrible and don't want to ruin their day. Plus I am much more comfortable sitting here in my old ugly t-shirt; I hate the thought of putting real clothes on and having to comb my hair, not to mention putting stuff on my zits (yes, 33 years old and still breaking out. I hate that). Ugh.
Well I hope you still think this was a good idea! I feel like I am whining big-time. I hope the rest of you are enjoying your Saturday, I will write again later.
Thanks for reading my cranky drivel : )
--Shelley mbnm
poster:me-but-not-me
thread:36706
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20000610/msgs/36866.html