Posted by Kath on June 12, 2000, at 9:55:53
In reply to Well, i feel whiny!, posted by me-but-not-me on June 12, 2000, at 3:58:29
Hi Shelley, Glad to hear from you. I'm thinkin' of ya'. Re: your old friend, I think people can't begin to understand about depression if they haven't experienced it. Sounds to me like you're really trying to take good care of yourself & are doing pretty well at it!! What type of books do you like to read? Do you like ficiton at all? I love reading & have just finished one that I really enjoyed alot. Let me know if you want any titles of books that I've enjoyed. It's okay to feel whiny. All feelings are okay - I'm just learning that! (Hey, guess what - even anger!!! - that's my big one to allow myself to feel.) Keep in touch and here's a hug from me. ( ) Kath.
> Hi, Kath and Shar-
>
> Yes, I went to the movie. I endured well-meaning chatter until it started, then -- during the movie, I went from being near catatonic to almost manic! It was the weirdest thing. When the movie ended, I parted from them and wanted to get raging drunk and break things. I stopped off to get something at a bookstore first and ended up finding good books and reading at a table there for hours. No boozing, no rioting! Very weird. I did end up cutting that night... though I don't do it nearly as often as I used to. But now I have fresh ones, so if I do go to the hospital or even try to get a new pdoc they will try to give me the borderline talk (please spare me!)
>
> I have been in and out of sleep all day. Tried chatting online with a friend that I havent' seen for about 8 years (been that long since I left my family and that coast behind and I have never been back). It just left me frustrated because he was trying to ask questions about my deporession and is scoffing at my meds and my seking of meds. Whatever! He should be on them too, I think that is why he is reacting that way.
>
> Ugh... I think if I could somehow be unconscious through all of this it would not be as bad. This walk through Hell with my eyes wide open, fully cognizant, is what is most painful for me I think. Damn. I'm just getting so tired of it, and so tired of heaing myself talk about it.
>
> Yet I sit here, immobilized. God I need new meds.
>
> Listen, if and when I do check in, I will try to have a friend post it here if I can't get access in the hosp.
>
> Hope you have a good Monday - and thanks for caring.
>
> -Shelley
poster:Kath
thread:36706
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20000610/msgs/37021.html