Posted by Kath on July 6, 2000, at 16:27:50
In reply to Re: Nice weekend; yucky home-coming - help, posted by tdaneen on July 6, 2000, at 9:23:21
Hi tdaneen - Thanks soooo much. I'm going to answer throughout your post....
> Empathy Kath, a great gift, and sometimes the bane of our existance. I hurt for you, and feel your hope, and strange mixed emotions. Weird, huh.
> I know you are doing the right thing. It is a hard road to travel.
.........thx - I believe I'm doing the right thing, but you're so right. It IS hard. Today he phoned & when asked what he had to say, said he guessed he made a mistake. Then proceeded to say "ya know the support money you get for me?" (his biological dad sends support $ monthly) "well, I never see it. You could give it to me and you could deduct the $160 out of this payment, and I could get my own place for the summer." (Can you believe it - as if I'm going to do that after his behaviour & given that he's got a major problem with daily use of marijuana!!) I simply told him that I suggest he contacts his worker or some of the other resources on the list I gave him. When I asked him if there was any money left he said no. Makes sense that he didn't contact us 'til it was all gone! $160 gone in about a day & a half!>My daughter is only four, and I have difficulty at times knowing and feeling EXACTLY what she is feeling. That makes it hard for me to do the right thing in my job as a mommy. I do it anyway, yucky as I feel about it sometimes.
> Is your husband supporting you emotionally? Does he have an outlet for his stress over this too?
...........My husband is majorly supportive. Fortunately, we're both at the same place as to the fact that we can't have him living here under these circumstances. My husband is very fair & even though we scoured my purse for the $ wanted to hear from our son that he actually took it, so I'm glad he said he did instead of making up some stupid lie. As to my husband having an outlet for his stress, I'm not as sure about that, but we really share our feelings with each other alot & he doesn't find it as hard as I do to take a firm stand, so his stress is a different kind. On the weekend we made a definite commitment to spending fun time together more often to help balance things out.> Kath, you are such a source of strength and positive energy to those on this board, I just want you to know, that after what has happened to me here in the last week, I have
looked to you and a few others as kindred voices.
..............Thanks tdaneen, I'm glad I was able to help a bit. I was very upset about what happened & I really hoped it wouldn't turn you off PB.
> Take your meds (if you have any that you take)
.........yup - Celexa 20 mg at bedtime - love it - even through all this, I'm not feeling super anxious. Yucky, but not anxious.see your doc, or therapist (if you see one) make sure your support network is on order.
................I will make a doc appt. - thx for the suggestion. He knows the whole story & is very supportive. My therapist is on holiday (poo), but I have an appt booked as soon as he gets back. There's also a pdoc I see about every 2nd or 3rd week, who was originally my son's! I think I'll book with her sooner than what is already booked. I do have people I can phone & they are helpful & of course people here.Remember, you have to take care of yourself first, before you can take care of others.
..........thx - over the past couple of days, I've suggested that to people here - so I will do it for myself too!!> There are many here who love and respect you. Who would listen to you ramble (or babble, right?) on and on...
> smile, and if you need them, they are here for you to lean on.
.................Thanks very much for your support. It really means alot, alot, alot. And everyone else's also.How are things for you? If you feel like telling, I'd be glad to hear.
Kath
poster:Kath
thread:39446
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20000630/msgs/39583.html