Posted by BobJ1961 on June 25, 2001, at 3:16:29
In reply to Re: New to Psycho-Babble, posted by Zo on June 24, 2001, at 16:45:18
Hi Zo,
Thank you for your feedback! I feel better now about my past use of antidepressants. After giving it a lot of thought (ie: "situational" depression versus "clinical" depression) I've come to the conclusion that it would be nearly impossible to distinguish between the two. What complicates matters even more is realizing that you can always FIND something to be depressed about < g >.
Personally speaking, I feel a little "better" knowing my depression is the result of some problem worthy of depression! LOL ... But those days where things SEEM to be going well, but I'm very depressed nonetheless, really bother me in particular.
In the end, as far as your brain is concerned, I now tend to think the two kinds of depression are one and the same. In other words, maybe what makes you depressed is irrelevant, because whatever it was that caused it had the same "net effect" on your brain chemistry. Maybe too, where the abnormality lies (which ALL depressed people have in common) is that we lack the ability to reverse the process in a reasonable period of time?
Sounds like I hide my depression for the reasons you mentioned too. I've certainly noticed over the years, that people who have not experienced depression really get uncomfortable when you bring up your illness. Ironically, I can remember being that way myself (in my early 20's--I just couldn't understand depression, and people who had it made me uncomfortable). But then there are SOME people who claim to know what depression is like, but when you talk about it more in depth with them, it turns out that it was a very brief (and not very severe) "case." And their "cure" was something simple, like getting involved in more social activities, and/or changing their diet or getting more regular exercise. While I agree that those activities can benefit ANYONE (even someone with severe depression) they're not going to improve the mood much of someone with severe depression. I don't think someone with severe depression is even capable of doing those activities (I know I'm not).
Heck, even *I* have a hard time understanding my depression when I'm not experiencing it < g >. So I guess I shouldn't be so hard on "normal" people for not understanding it.
Thanks for listening to MY "psycho babble" some more < vbg >. Nice to "meet" you too!
Sincerely, Bob :)
> >In fact, going on antidepressants for the first time in my life (at that time) was probably a bad thing, because I took them to treat a "situational" depression.
>
> I'm not so sure that was a bad idea. The way I understand it, and *feel* it, "situational" depression takes the same toll on the dopaminergic and other resources my brain doesn't manufacture very well as does a chemical disruption from within -- and often, it is hard and even pointless to try and distinguish them. I do know if I am not medicated for overwhelming situations, I cannot act on my own behalf, I simply haven't the mental/emotional resilience. And that resiliance is chemical by nature.
>
> >Years later, it turned into a bona fide clinical depression (maybe BECAUSE I messed up my mind/body with antidepressants? I don't like contemplating that possibility < g >).
>
> I don't *think* so. .. ! < g >
>
> >I too have many other medical problems that I seem to be able to cope with when my medications work for my depression.
>
> Me too. Back to that resilence factor.
>
> > I am able to function on a daily basis and you would never know if you met me that I have these problems, I have learned to hide them. It has been terrible to act happy at times when I am not. I guess life goes on.
>
> Sorry, I seem to be answering you both at once. Choosing to hide one's depression and other health problems is a tricky one. I do it in part so as to enjoy what does come my way, to participate in shreds of "normal" life, in part because these things are hard for others to deal with, in part because I don't want to go through the pain of seeing others turn away. . .and in part because I lack the foundation of trust that others would care, which I gingerly work to overcome.
>
> Best to you both,
> Zo
poster:BobJ1961
thread:66847
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20010618/msgs/67772.html