Posted by Ilene on February 21, 2004, at 8:41:46
In reply to Marplan Diary, posted by Ilene on February 19, 2004, at 8:52:49
Yesterday was interesting. I went to an "IEP" (I think it means Individual Education Program) meeting at my son's school. He's 13, and his schoolwork has gotten worse and worse. He can't remember anything, his handwriting is illegible, and his written work, even when typed, is terrible.
Lucky for me the meeting was at noon, because my pattern of feeling best midday is going strong.
Yesterday I left a message w/ the principal about my problems getting my son's transcripts and recommendations to the schools he's applying to in San Francisco. Yesterday I ran into his counselor in a yoga class, and today I talked to the guidance services secretary. Success, I think! They said they faxed the info to the two school, and I got a call from both the prinicipal and the guidance services secretary yesterday afternoon. I'll be calling the schools on Monday,
He's been diagnosed with AD/HD, distractive type, and a learning disability because of the difference between his verbal IQ (superior), other tests, and his written work. This means the school will start giving him much more individual attention. He may get occupational therapy to help with his terrible fine motor schools. And I'll be talking to my pdoc (who's actually a child psychiatrist) to get him a referral so he can get started on meds.
I think all these disorders--depression, GAD, AD/HD, probably my hypotension and chronic fatigue syndrome, and my mother's migraines (which were triggered by stress)--are genetically connected. It's so common for these things to run in families.
I hate myself for passing my genes on to my children. I think my daughter has "it" as well. She's very shy and fearful, but I think she's starting to get over it. She's 17. I hope if my kids can get treated earlier in life than I was then things will be better for them.
My son's best friend came over and stayed for dinner and a sleepover. I was much less irritable toward the boys then I used to be (maybe Risperdal has a hand in that) and even managed to chat with them through dinner. I talked with my daughter, too (she's living across the country now). My mind feels so blank, and I have nothing to talk about. (I don't go anywhere, don't do much, and even reading can be stressful for me.)
As expected, I got very tired, anxious, and depressed w/ suicidal ideation by evening. That's when I have the most hopeless and dysfunctional thoughts. I feel old and unsexy, with nothing to look forward too, and a lifetime of personal rejection. Maybe I should take Klonopin in the evening, too. I'm still resistant to taking it at times.
20 mg. of Marplan certainly isn't suppressing my REM sleep. I had strange dreams and woke up several times.
Today I go up to 30 mg. I already took my first 10, and I'll take the 20 in the evening.
Best wishes to all
poster:Ilene
thread:315567
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20040218/msgs/316342.html