Posted by Simus on March 20, 2004, at 10:09:45
In reply to Re: I've Made A Mess of My Life » SummerSanders, posted by PsychoSage on March 20, 2004, at 3:40:04
Psycho,
I have greatly enjoyed your posts in the past, but I strongly disagree with you here.
> Maybe you need some buddhism or something to get you off your false ego trip.
This is not encouraging to a depressed person reaching out for help. This only brings more self-condemnation.
> I imagine you've had a rough time, but join the club.
Would you tell a cancer patient that?> One thing I have learned is that if you hate parts of yourself but then generalize your negative aspects or shortcomings then you quietly hate all people with your same shortcomings, failures and defects.
Some people do, but others of us develop a great compassion for those who battle the things we used to, or still do, face.
> This self-loathing/punishment thing is tricky. You thing you deserve it, but even if you were trying to do other people a favor by beating yourself up and thinking you should just end it all you are hating them and hurting them.
I completely disagree. When I am depressed, I constantly fight self-loathing. But that is because I have always been a perfectionist, and also very independant. I don't beat myself up to do others a favor. I beat myself up because I am not living up to the potential that I know is achievable. I don't hate others. I have a tremendous love for others. What I hate, at my low times, is that I am not what I expect myself to be, for myself but especially for others, and that I have to lean on others who already have their own share of burdens.
I am sure that you are right on target in dealing with your own life, and I am glad that you have gotten a revelation that helped you. But please, please be more careful in the future to consider that what was behind your struggle, with self-condemnation or whatever, may not necessarily be what is behind another's. I know you meant to help. But there was a time in my life that if I had heard those words, it would have thrown me into suicidal mode.
poster:Simus
thread:326123
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20040319/msgs/326380.html