Posted by denise1904 on August 16, 2004, at 23:14:33
Shouldn't there be a limit to how long anyone should suffer with this awful condition! At what point can you say "Look I've tried everything there is to try and nothing is working, can I take the exit clause now"
I sometimes think that if my life was a job, I would have handed my notice a long time ago.
Have just spent quite a lot of money and my 3 weeks holiday trying rTMS in Vancouver and have felt no benefit from it although it does work for some people. I feel like a lost cause sometimes and am sick of trying.
Fortunately, I'm not as bad as I was two years ago anyway so not as devastated as I would have been but am still starting to wonder if anything will ever work.
Have tried to make the most of the trip by doing all sorts of things, visiting loads of places, going to the beach etc but have felt pretty much in a void most of the time! Even went on the ski ride from Grouse Mountain and was thinking about the possibility of the chain holding me up breaking and thought that would be ok providing I didn't just break my back and that death (and hopefully release) would be instant.
Does that fact that rTMS doestn't work for me mean that ECT wouldn't either??The physician who is giving me the treatments is really lovely and I know he is trying to will it to work, he tells me that now that there are MRI scans hopefully they will know in about 10 years time what causes depression and how to treat it properly but I'm not sure if I want to wait 10 years. 10 years of feeling my life slip by.
Sorry if I'm using this board right now as a way to vent my frustration but I get so pissed off sometimes and just wish that this (whatever it is) was spread out to everyone so that everyone would just have a little bit of it for a short time. It's the duration of it that really gets me, the fact that it can go on and on and on, relentlessly. Just read the Martha Manning book and I can't help wondering what would she have done if the ECT hadn't of worked???
Denise.
poster:denise1904
thread:378449
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20040811/msgs/378449.html