Posted by Camille Dumont on May 25, 2005, at 0:06:35
In reply to Re: i want to die........, posted by so on May 24, 2005, at 23:43:30
> me too. Maybe it's not so much that I want to die as it is I don't want to live. I take comfort in the fact that I will die some day.
I can relate to this. Not really seeking death but seeking the absence of life ... because life didn't seem all that great. For me, therapy didn't help, mounds of medications didn't help ... and frankly, the only thing that keeps me here and forces me to live are my pets.
I may not really know who I am in general or what my purpose on earth may be but now, today and tomorrow and the days after that, I exist because my pets need me. It is my #1 reason that keeps me from attempting suicide.
Its more effective than anything else. They are my "stay safe" contract by default. I chose to take them as my pet therefore I am responsible for them until the end of their natural lives. This forces me to wait, to delay any suicidal impulse. And most of the time, whenever I get those, its for some reason that, in the end, is not worth it. They force me to think twice and stay safe.
Also, when I'm depressed, I can lose myself in playing with them. Just watching their silly antics can make me smile and laugh like nothing else ... even on the crappiest day.
poster:Camille Dumont
thread:502497
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20050521/msgs/502584.html