Posted by woolav on May 25, 2005, at 6:05:36
In reply to Re: i want to die........ » woolav, posted by ace on May 25, 2005, at 1:11:32
thank you all, that is why i come here, because only others in my shoes understand. It just seems that my hypomania episode(s) keep coming back to haunt me. I cant get away and I feel like Im going crazy because i dont remember things i did. i read on my above posts that it may just be that im not in that same state of mind. So in that i have some comfort. Sometimes the only thing that keeps me going is my pet too. And my father and daughter. I know they would be devastated. But, its so not fair sometimes. I told my husband that I couldnt guarantee that I will be here until I grow old. Im scared that when my daughter goes to college (3 yrs) and my father passes (he has cancer and is 80) that i will have nothing to live for. I love my husband and dont want to hurt him, but sometimes I believe he doesnt love me the same (maybe bc he doesnt understand me) heck, i dont understand my own self. He says he loves me and will be there, yet he is the one who brings up all the things i did during my hypo state and he cant get past some of it. So, its brought up and brought up...and i cant explain my behavoir to him. I wish i was normal, but that will never happen. Not sure what i did to be born like this. Maybe its a test. I dont know..I will try to keep going for as long as i can. And i truely thank each and every one of you. I dont know what i would do without your support.
S
poster:woolav
thread:502497
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20050521/msgs/502628.html