Posted by JenStar on June 10, 2005, at 13:41:29
In reply to Feedling desperate, posted by pretty_paints on June 10, 2005, at 10:05:01
I would encourage you to be totally honest with her. Tell her about the infatuation, and ask her to help with ways to deal with it and make it go away. It sounds like you logically KNOW you don't really "love" her in the relationship sense. You said you're not gay, for one, and you admitted that it's an obsession and not "real." So tell her all that and see how she reacts. I know transference is very common in therapy relationships, and yours is obviously extremely strong. Hopefully once you're honest about it, that in itself will help you pull away from it and realize that you don't really "love" her.
maybe you want to be LIKE her. You're jealous of her whole SITUATION - husband, kids, good job, nice life. Maybe you want to BE her, not to be WITH her. Could that be part of it? You see her as a link to the life you want to have, so you fixate on HER instead of the life she has?
Ask her to help you figure out why you "like" her so much. Make categories. Do you like the way she looks, the way she talks, the job she has, the family, her confidence, her health, her car? What would make you happy in your life? You're very young. YOu have a lot of life in front of you, and can make plans to achieve the things you want!
I know you mentioned psychosis & other potential issues, which can obviously be helped with meds, but to me these seem like important things too.
Again, sorry if I'm completely off the mark.
hope you feel better soon!
JenStar
poster:JenStar
thread:510495
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20050606/msgs/510599.html