Posted by Racer on February 19, 2005, at 14:37:02
In reply to I thought i was ok until...., posted by i'm_ok on February 18, 2005, at 23:28:23
> Until I organized my closet..only to find size 6 to size 14...all worn regularly by me. I thought I was depressed and needed anti depressants. i was on lexapro and wellbutrin for a while until i finally told my doc that the only thing that makes me happy is to be thin. i convinced him to prescribe me phentermine. i have been soo happy since then. i've lost 20 lbs in one month. i dont feel well but that is ok. i dont eat and when i do i throw it up. that scares me but its a natural reaction now and i'm kind of scared but i still like it. i think once i am happy with how i look i will stop the nonsense...but who (female) has size 6's to 14's????
I have from size 4 to size 14, so I guess you're not totally alone. And I always have a sense that if only I could get thin, empty myself out enough and like my body, that I would feel OK all the time.Guess what?
It don't work like that. The size portion is only a symptom, not the disease. Purging like that can kill you, so unless your only goal in life is to leave an emaciated corpse, I strongly urge you to get some treatment right away.
Mind you, I'm in the midst of freaking out entirely over having gained weight -- even though I am the one who finally said that I WANTED treatment, and thought that I was sufficiently motivated to follow through with it. Hell, when my nutritional counselor set my goal for daily grain based carbohydrate consumption, I thought to myself, "Ah, hell! I can do that and more! Easy!" Since then -- that was in mid November -- I have met that goal no more than three times. I'm also in the midst of refeeding syndrome, which is particularly hellish. There's no question that it's hard. And there's no question that it's increasing my depression.
There's also no question that it needs to be done unless I choose to jeopardize my life in pursuit of some emphemeral concept of appropriate body size. Most days, I don't know why I'd ever thought recovery was something I wanted. But even so -- I am trying, and it is better than the alternative.
What sort of treatment are you getting now? And what in the hell is wrong with your doctor to prescribe a medication to reduce the weight of someone with an eating disorder?
poster:Racer
thread:460213
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/eating/20041128/msgs/460410.html