Posted by Racer on September 3, 2006, at 17:48:54
In reply to You are Enough. That's enough., posted by Jost on September 3, 2006, at 14:48:52
> Okay, look, Racer.
>
> 1. I didn't even know that Mme Necker (what a name! That's not no French name!) was Mme de Stael's mother,. okay. Not to mention her casket, or that is her casket built for three.
>There's more: she didn't mind dying, she said, but didn't want to decompose. The casket was made of glass, and filled with, I think it was vinegar, to preserve them. After her death, her husband visited her every day until the Terror, when the casket was thrown into the Seine. The Neckers were part of the Affair of the Necklace, which I know nothing about...
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Here's something I learned reading your post, though: I'm defensive, and even here I'm trying to prove that I really do know "enough" to be OK. Funny how deeply it's internalized, huh? I'm sorry that I got defensive at you -- but aren't I clever to do it preemptively? ;-}
Wherever they come from, though, I do feel as though I disappoint everyone, that I let everyone around me down. It hit me full force today, out with my husband, who was trying to help by telling me that he has "dreams and aspirations" for me, and that he thinks all this will be much better "once I make a contribution to something and get recognition in the field." Um... All I could think was, "get used to disappointment." (You know, "The Princess Bride" contributes way too much to my internal dialogs...) Seriously, though, part of me was so upset by that, because it was as though there was EVEN MORE I had to struggle to accomplish, when I can barely accomplish clean underwear!
Thank you, Jost. You help me think about things in new ways, and that's always helpful -- even if you don't see it right away...
poster:Racer
thread:682714
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/esteem/20060827/msgs/682777.html