Posted by llrrrpp on September 4, 2006, at 23:14:55
In reply to Hm... My husband just made an observation..., posted by Racer on September 4, 2006, at 19:45:31
Hmm, it sounds a little bit like what Curtm was talking about in the thread just above.
You only seek approval when there is doubt about it being granted. This allows you to fail to win approval, and then you feel like a loser, which was actually your goal in the first place.
There are many ways to feel like a loser. I think your style is just different from mine.
Well, we all punish ourselves, but the pathological part is when we do it on purpose because we feel somehow worse than those who love us, or who surround us.
I'm glad that it's not all-consuming. You recognize your strengths and that's wonderful. You are a good communicator :)
So, what is it about getting feedback/approval in the confident areas that is different from your less-confident areas?
In other words, how is writing a long e-mail to a friend different from writing an essay to a professor? What in your history and experience makes it different? How is teaching riding lessons (where the client is often "testing" the instructor's expertise) different from being evaluated on a math test?
good night Racer. I hope your cat hasn't become allergic to you!
I think I'm allergic to myself. I make me sick. haha I'm cracking up. Sayonara
-ll
poster:llrrrpp
thread:683124
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/esteem/20060827/msgs/683188.html