Posted by Dinah on June 2, 2003, at 8:41:35
In reply to Is it time to change therapists?, posted by fallsfall on June 1, 2003, at 21:54:26
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> I guess the most convincing argument is that when I think of staying with her I feel hopeless, and when I think of leaving I have hope.
>That's a pretty compelling reason, if it is really deep down to the bone true. But you are the only one who can make that decision.
Ordinarily, I would think that working these feelings out with your present therapist would be valuable. Since you've identified your feelings as a terror of abandonment. But I haven't been overly impressed with what you've told us of your therapist's ability to work with that terror, or to be compassionate with it.
Actually, my first reaction would be to say to talk this through with your therapist, and get her input into whether she feels capable of working this through with you, and how much she thinks of this as a stage in therapy. But I understand that fear of abandonment all too well. If I were going to ditch my therapist, I would just want to ditch my therapist. I would be horrified to discuss the notion with him and find that he thought my leaving him for a new therapist would be a good idea. The possibilities for feeling rejected would terrify me. It would be way less scary to do the rejecting myself.
I think you did say that you had another therapist candidate in mind? So you'd be able to start processing your feelings pretty quickly.
I wish you the best of luck in sorting out your feelings and determining what is best and most growth producing for yourself. I know you can do it.
poster:Dinah
thread:230679
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20030529/msgs/230742.html