Posted by shortelise on March 4, 2004, at 16:17:40
In reply to Re: women without children, posted by Miss Honeychurch on March 4, 2004, at 15:51:05
Good question.
I chose not to have children because I thought I would be a horrible mother. I thought I'd raise screwed up children. My husband didn't want to have them because there is a genetic disorder in his family that his brother died from quite young.
I don't know exactly what it is to be selfsih, what it means. Everything seems pretty selfish to me. To have children can be selfish. If I had given in to my biological clock and had a few kids in my early 30's, it would not have been in their best interest, sooner it would have been me indulging that clock, that yearning.
Now that I am past my childbearing years, now that I have found some equilibrium, I wish I could have a child or two. Now I think I could raise a healthy person - or as healthy as anyone.
I ask myself about love a lot, what it means, how it feels, and if in itself it isn't inherently selfish. Why do we love? Why do we have children? Wasn't it here that someone asked what are "good" reasons to have a child? To venture an answer, a good reason to have a child would be to learn a new kind of love, one that compliments the love of marriage, and the love of self.
You didn't ask most of this, but it feels like a sort of logical progression - to my sometimes skewered logic!!
ShortE
poster:shortelise
thread:320209
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040303/msgs/320245.html