Posted by noa on March 6, 2004, at 20:03:36
In reply to women without children, posted by terrics on March 4, 2004, at 15:16:10
I'm in my forties and no children. I have always wanted to have children "someday". Then, in my thirties, depression hit hard and by the time I recovered I was in my forties! I think about having children, but still feel my life isn't stable enough for it--in many ways--emotionally, financially, being single, etc. etc.
This is a very very sad topic for me. I feel terrible loss about this. Maybe "someday" I will be able to adopt a child. The time for bearing my own is likely to be passed or nearly so, and I am not ready to rush into the process right now.
I try not to spend too much time dwelling on MH now that I'm doing better. When I was not doing well, it wasn't really a matter of dwelling on it, but the depression was really rather debilitating. The hypothetical question about whether I would have suffered depression that bad if I had been caring for a child or children? Who knows. I do usually feel better when around children and when I have to care for them, it is easier to be motivated than when just taking care of myself. But on the other hand, the depression also had the strong biological component and I think about how that would have affected my availablity if there had been a child in my life. I also was even less in a position to support a child anyway.
Well, all that is rather moot.
Since part of my life dream was someday having a family, when I came out of the coma of depression after a decade, I realized that at this stage of life, I might have to change what my life dreams are. This is very difficult. I'm left feeling at a loss--kind of "now what?"--and a loss for all the time and all those potentially childbearing years.
I definitly try not to dwell too much on all of this, either. But it comes to mind in one way or another almost every day. When it comes to mind, I usually only think about it breifly, and then put it aside.
poster:noa
thread:320209
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040303/msgs/321343.html