Posted by Racer on July 16, 2004, at 13:43:52
In reply to Re: But it's all about ME!!! » Racer, posted by tabitha on July 15, 2004, at 23:37:51
Funny -- I was thinking about this last night, and the light bulb finally went on:
Despite the lack of external validation you've been getting, and despite the distress you're feeling about the whole situation, you actually do seem to be validating yourself in this. Are you aware of that? (I know that I'm often taken aback when someone tells me, "Oh, but you *did* [validate yourself/say no/defend your boundaries/whatever]..." And even if I do find that I can see it, it still doesn't always mean I actually believe it, you know?)
Anyway, in seeing that you did what you set out to do -- be honest in the group -- and that the response you got didn't feel appropriate to you, you really are offering yourself some validation. You're not saying that you're the one at fault in this -- heck, Tabs, you're not even suggesting it's a possibility anymore! -- and that seems like a darnedly healthy way of seeing the world.
Even if the rest of the world still disagrees with you.
(This was a topic in my session this morning, by the way: that even when I can see that my perceptions are consistent with my rational world view, I can still be easily convinced that I *must* be wrong. Guess we'll see what happens with that...)
All my best to you.
poster:Racer
thread:366359
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040716/msgs/366873.html