Posted by sunny10 on October 7, 2004, at 8:49:03
In reply to Re: The Point of therapy, posted by vwoolf on October 7, 2004, at 1:11:32
> I think for me therapy at the moment is a place where I can find some rest. The tensions of my life and feelings of craziness have been overwhelming for some years now, and at last I have found a small place where I can drop my guard and just be. However I am now seeing my T five times a week, and it still doesn't feel contained enough. Apart from that I spend most of my time lying on my bed, playing solitaire or reading (note that I am the primary bread-winner in my family, so this creates huge problems. I am not sure where to go from here. Hospitalisation?
vwoolf,
You are already taking steps in the right direction. Hospitalization should be your last resort. Going to therapy five times a week is a huge commitment, so you are obviously willing to do whatever it takes to get better. You don't need to become institutionalized. That is another thing to "get over" in the long run. You are better off without it.
As far as being the breadwinner goes, can anyone else contribute to the "breadbox"? Spouse, family, friends, welfare system, short term disability payments, anything? Even a short term loan from the bank might help the "for now".
It seems obvious to me that there are very concrete reasons that you are stressed out! Mental illness only exacerbates the situation.
Perhaps you should give yourself permission to "just be" more often. "Use" your illness to demand a break from some stressful things. For instance, there is no rule that says that every meal must be home cooked, or that every floor must be swept, every surface dusted, et cetera.
We are overworking ourselves to death in the current culture. We need to advocate for ourselves. Demand "mini-vacations"- hang out for an hour a day/night in the basement or attic (or local library, whatever) and declare yourself out of the country and unable to be reached for an hour. Delegate duties to other members of the family. Working full time, being the fulltime homemaker, and "referee" to all squabbles as well would eventually land everyone in bed, playing solitaire, not just those of us with mental illnesses !I know it's hard to make your loved ones listen, and harder to say "no"- I have those same problems, which is why your post really spoke to me. I am very afraid of "confrontation", which to me means any time I say something that someone else doesn't want to hear. I had to literally call the house from a block away, get my son and boyfriend both on the phone at once, to tell them that I was going to make myself unavailable for at least an hour a day.
And, you know what? They were completely unfazed, said "ok, see ya whenever you get home". It hadn't occurred to me that the only one who cared that the house was a mess was ME.
Or that they would rather battle things out for themselves than have me step in to referee. I was putting all these expectations on myself!Breathe slowly in and out- you WILL get through this. Your therapy will help. But force YOU to help you, too.
Big (((vwoolf)))) Hugs and kisses,
sunny10
poster:sunny10
thread:399630
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20041002/msgs/399922.html