Posted by Daisym on October 7, 2004, at 10:26:11
In reply to The Point of therapy, posted by shortelise on October 6, 2004, at 13:14:50
When I started all this, I wanted to know "why?" I felt so unhappy, to the point of suicide, when things weren't drastically different from the way they were a year prior. Therapy was the tool to help me understand this and, I hoped, to fix it, make the feelings go away. So I could go back to how I was.
Hmmm...therapy helped me think about my life, all of it, not just the last year. The analogy that fits is this: My task has been to carry a really heavy load across the desert, with little water and no food. At first, you know it is heavy and you are hot, but you can do it. But the longer you do it, the heavier the load is and the weaker you are. You can't put the load down because it is very precious to you. So you drag yourself along. But the desert is huge and this is taking a really long time. You figure out you need help.
OK, so now therapy is my "help" instead of my "cure". Because I still have the load and I'm still in the desert. Only NOW I'm aware that there are bandits in the desert to deal with too. So I need protection. My therapist has become my protection in many ways. And I'm also lost. So my therapist is my guide and he has the map, even if he forgets to look at it sometimes. And sometimes we have to back track to the water hole we found, because I can't keep going without a rest.
Right now my hope is low that I will ever get out of the desert and be allowed to put the load down. And sometimes I think I would make better time if I just tried to follow a straight line, and not use a guide. But I tell myself that water is a life-giving force. And I need the guide to remind me where the water is, or how to find a new source of it.
Ultimately, the point for me would be to get out of the desert, which is a painful place to be, and to learn to accept help carrying the load, so I'm not alone with it.
I'm starting to pray for a helicopter.
poster:Daisym
thread:399630
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20041002/msgs/399943.html