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my stuff » Rigby

Posted by crushedout on October 23, 2004, at 0:17:56

In reply to Re: Need Advise » crushedout, posted by Rigby on October 22, 2004, at 23:59:38


> Are you actually longing for these things because you want them or longing for them because you feel you're supposed to have them?

oh, no, i really want them. but somehow it's easier when you're younger to be patient, and tell yourself, "don't worry -- that stuff comes later." now i know i'm supposed to be having them now and i start to panic that i will never have them. does that make sense?


> Dang. This thing has just really taken hold. And it sounds like your brain is telling you that she's not all that but still, it's not the brain that's calling the shots here. She sounds like an addiction to me. Do you think you could try and say take a month off from her and go to someone else? Just to try *something* in the pattern to break it?


hmm, the addiction part doesn't really ring true to me anymore. it feels like being in love. and there's dependency there, yes, but it doesn't really feel addictive in the sense that i think you're thinking of. although it makes sense that you would think that. and the remedy you suggest would still possibly help, but no, i don't feel like i can do it. fallsfall always trying to get me to stop saying i can't, because of course i CAN -- i just don't want to. i just can't see myself really doing that. i wish i could. i'm not sure why it feels so much like it's not an option.

maybe i should try talking about it with her, but i'm scared to. i think, like you, i'm lacking some really basic and necessary trust with her. and that's obviously not good.


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poster:crushedout thread:405935
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20041016/msgs/406228.html