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I think I misunderstood » Rigby

Posted by Dinah on October 27, 2004, at 9:22:49

In reply to Re: Need Advise » Dinah, posted by Rigby on October 22, 2004, at 23:23:41

I thought this was part of an ongoing pattern. Was it an isolated incident?

Nearly everyone I have an intimate relationship has said something grossly insensitive from time to time. And not infrequently they lack the perceptiveness to see how grossly insensitive they were. And I've probably done the same to them. If I were to end a relationship for isolated or infrequent acts of gross insensitivity, I wouldn't have any relationships at all. It's my personal philosophy that we are all doomed to hurt and disappoint the people we care about, and that we're all doomed to do it more than once and in the same way. And that the only way to build a transcendent relationship is to accept that unfortunate fact.

On the other hand, focussing on a moment of gross insensitivity is often a great way to motivate myself to get out of a relationship that has outlived it's usefulness or that really wasn't that good to begin with.

So if this is a pattern, I can see that you would come to the conclusion that this wasn't a good relationship to be in. If this was an isolated event, it might be profitable to review the relationship as a whole.

 

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poster:Dinah thread:405935
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20041026/msgs/407852.html