Posted by pinkeye on February 10, 2005, at 15:34:38
In reply to Re: thanks all » pinkeye, posted by Pfinstegg on February 10, 2005, at 15:07:15
I don't know too much why I lost the confidence now.. the story that I have is somewhat different from regular therapy. He is in another country and I correspond via emails - officially I just terminated couple of weeks back with him.. smooth termination, no problems.
Only this lingering sense of maybe he never liked me is still not resolved. I guess I will never know the answer.. since I don't think I will be able to contact him again and even if I ask again, I am sure he won't give me an answer either way. Just have to live with it I guess.
He treated me extremely well, I felt respected cared for etc etc.. I don't have any complaints about that. Only I am not sure if he was just doing it because he felt duty bound and because I was his patient and maybe he never really liked me personally very much. I don't know.. I guess it is my own fears of not being liked .. anyway, writing about it here is helping in a way to get it off of my chest.> So, while you were seeing him you felt that he liked and cared about you, but, now that you aren't seeing him anymore, you no longer think he does? Did you actually terminate, or is there some other reason you aren't seeing him now? It sounds like your work with him isn't finished. Can you see him again, or see another T? It's an awful feeling-to be haunted by those doubts- and not have a way to resolve them.
>
> I feel that my T likes and respects me, even when I am feeling very ashamed and self-hating. He's trained to be so patient, warm and accepting- even during difficult times when things seem to be so stuck and painful. But, beyond that, I do think we have a real mutual liking for one another, He has never said that he liked me- and I don't think he would say that, but he has said that he feels it is a privilege to be my analyst- that one phrase is carrying me through every emotional storm you can possibly think of! I hope you can get a better resolution of your doubts, too. Do you sometimes wonderful why you felt more confidence about his liking and caring when you were actually seeing him, but have not been able to maintain that feeling now that you're not?
poster:pinkeye
thread:455625
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050206/msgs/455956.html