Posted by gardenergirl on December 5, 2005, at 15:19:18
In reply to Re: The reason I am asking is because.... » gardenergirl, posted by happyflower on December 5, 2005, at 14:40:22
> Thanks Gardengirl,
>
> I know in order to really know, I need to ask, but do you think he will REALLY will be totally truthful.I know he should be, but I don't know if he WILL be. And the tough part is, how will you know whether to believe him or not, if you worry about whether he's being honest or not? There's so much fodder here to talk about. I suspect it's not going to be just a one session topic, if you go into what the concept means to you as far as wishes, fantasies, fears, needs, etc. and what his potential responses mean in the same regard.
At least, I know that's how my T would handle it. I almost never get his reaction, because we get so caught up in whatever I've been worrying his reaction is. :) I have to remember to directly ask him again after all that is done.
> Like suppose you become attracted to a client of yours, and they share that they are attracted to you also. Have you received any T training on how to deal with this?
We did get some work on this, and even role-played it in class. My own particular weakness is that I often don't take enough time to explore the issue as I described above before I answer the question.
And I have been attracted to a client once before. It did not come up in therapy, and I don't know how he felt towards me. But I do know that it felt as if there was an element of flirtation under the surface, so I tried to be very conscious of boundaries with him. He had a tendency to push the smaller ones, such as length of session and such.
> I know there is a lot of literature on client erotic transference, but very little is written on erotic counter-transference. Even though according to the Pope studies, many T's do become attracted to their clients sometimes during their carreers. And we all now there are many unethical therapists who do cross the line in therapy and become sexually involved with their clients. I am sure many T's said it wouldn't happen to them, but I bet sometimes they are caught off guard a little after all you can't control who you are attracted to.
You're absolutely right, you cannot predict or control who you feel attraction for. It's a feeling just like any other. It's what you do with it that's the important part. One can feel something or fantasize about something without acting on it. A good T would also reflect on what it means for the therapy if they feel attracted to the client. What's going on that this feeling surfaced at that time, and what should be done about it? It's definitely not something to just wing your way through.
gg
poster:gardenergirl
thread:585174
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051130/msgs/585785.html