Posted by All Done on December 29, 2005, at 2:06:45
In reply to Re: I really do know nothing is magic or easy., posted by LadyBug on December 27, 2005, at 17:57:21
> I've been where you're at for several years! It's just been this last few months that my feelings for my therapist haven't been painful to feel. I'm doing better. We've tried a lot of different stuff. The end of Sept. this year, I was faced with some major marital and financial problems. I needed my therapist more than ever to help me through this time. When I saw her 2 times a week, she'd say, I want you to check in with me on Fri.'s so I know how your doing. We started doing this and have continued doing it. You know what????? It's been the best thing we've ever done!!! (Well one of them.) I leave her a voice mail at my convience and she returns a voice mail to me when it's convienent for her. I have a voice mail or two to listen to when I need to hear her voice and what she has to say. I told her a month or so ago how my feelings for her are finally feeling ok. They don't hurt anymore! Often the feelings of love I have for her seem to hurt. So I guess there are lots of things to try, but this is the one that has helped me the most.
> I have taken pictures of her a few times. I print one, just on plain white paper, and keep it folded in my pocket while I'm at work. Another thing I did about a month ago was take her a "special" pen to write with only when she is with me. This is a favorite pen of mine and I love writing with it. She puts it in her drawer till she see's me again.
> She's written notes to me and mailed them everyweek for over a year. (That was a long time ago.) It really helped me learn that I could count on her, or count on her doing something for me. She could be reliable and I knew it without a doubt. That was a strength to me and I needed it as my mother was never reliable for me as a kid.
> I wish you good work and try different ideas even though sometimes they might feel funny.
> Good Luck figuring it out.
> LadyBugThat's all pretty amazing, LadyBug. Seems you have a pretty great T. If I had to guess, my T would work with me on this. I just have to ask and that's, obviously, the hard part. I'm so afraid that I'd ask for or suggest something and he'd say no. I feel like such a hypocrite because I'd tell anyone else on the boards that they should talk to their T and ask for what they want. :(
Like I told Daisy, I am going to ask him if he has any ideas for the time between sessions. We'll see where that discussion goes. Maybe I'll get brave.
You and your T came up with some great ideas. Thanks for sharing and for understanding.
Take care,
Laurie
poster:All Done
thread:592469
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051216/msgs/593026.html