Posted by Susan47 on January 1, 2006, at 16:08:29
In reply to Re: Help me please, re: ex-T, posted by joslynn on December 29, 2005, at 17:15:45
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> It's too bad he won't just block your number, because that would probably be a favor to you, actually,He did initially block my number(s), the ones I'd been calling from. He told me though that when I changed to cell and internet-based service that he couldn't do that and if he could, he would. Which hurt but made sense from his perspective, which was that he didn't know what else to do to get rid of this troublesome ex-patient. I still think about that and I just want to swear at him, in outrage for being so simple-minded.
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> At this point, I would suggest you view this as an addiction. That is what I had to do with someone I had a little rendezvous with, who was bad news and lived in my neighborhood. I had to look at it the same way an alcoholic has to view booze. First I read up on everything I could about love addiction.
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> It got to the point where I would put a gold star on my calendar every day I avoided the coffee shop where he hung out, etc. I started shopping at a completely different grocery store. Like many people who kind of pull you in with charm at first, he was quite happy to continue the intrigue on a toxic level, but that's not what I wanted.No. At one point I remember telling the answering machine that this was sick. I knew the fact that he was listening to all my calls initially, or gave the impression to me that he was, was toxic. I knew that he shouldn't have been letting me do it. I knew that he should've demanded exactly the reason for it and insisted on knowing, and been straight with me about his own need for reassurance, and his own need to be seen in a certain way. He has this huge need for respect. It's overwhelming, but it isn't alone in his needs. I was too caught up in them, to see straight. I know myself well, now. I know exactly who I am. I did the work.
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> Seriously, type in love addiction to google. Reward yourself every time you don't call.
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> Maybe he was emotionally seductive in the beginning, but that doesn't change the fact that he is not emotionally available at all to you now.
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> If you view him as a toxic substance that you are allergic to, which you just have to avoid, that may take some of the emotions out of it??
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> Good luck. It is hard but worth it.I agree, joslyyn, thanks you lovely woman.
poster:Susan47
thread:592087
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051229/msgs/594012.html