Posted by littleone on January 7, 2006, at 18:13:04
In reply to Hating the rules., posted by daisym on January 4, 2006, at 2:20:46
Hi daisy,
I figure we can hate the rules all we like as long as we follow them. You can wish for stuff like:
> I want to sit and brood. I can't -- I'm supposed to talk.
> I want to lie that I'm OK -- but I promised not to lie.
> I want more than an hour a day. I want sessions at 3am. I want to be special. I want to be rescued. I want to be held while I cry. I don't want know he has other clients or a wife that he went dancing with. And yet I want to know if he has other clients as needy as me.all you like. And I figure we can get mad at our T's because the wishes can't come true. I know I can't get mad at him in person (yet?), but I sometimes get real mad in my writings to him. A bit safer for me that way not to have the mad feelings right there, but still being able to get mad at him.
I know you talk a lot more than I do in sessions, but have you tried drawing your wishes out? I know for me that I get a different kind of release drawing the wishes. Like I can really SHOW him what I want. Which I think is different to telling.
I hate those rules too. Even though I know they're there for a reason, I still hate them. I still want what I can't have. I still want more than he can give me.
The other thing I wanted to say was re:
> Today I told him I needed a break. I thought if I took a month off I could get my feelings back under control.
I know that for me I'm only just now starting to realise how much I actually do dissociate. A big part of which is cutting off my feelings. I know you say you want to get yours "back under control", but I wasn't sure if for you that means just getting them to a manageable level, or basically cutting them off. I think there's an important difference there.
Also, I think you book link later in the thread isn't linked properly.
poster:littleone
thread:595088
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051229/msgs/596309.html