Posted by 10derHeart on January 12, 2006, at 18:27:04
In reply to bad day, posted by ghost on January 3, 2006, at 20:30:07
>>..she's only saying that because no one ever asks me to go places. no one likes to hang out with the weird fat girl who likes to wear big boots and fishnets. no one ever walks up to a girl like me in public and strikes up a conversation with me. no one ever asks for my number. no one likes the fat girl who dresses funny<<
I would ask you to go places.
Some of my favorite people are fat, large, big, overweight, obese...pick a word....any word you prefer.... and that list includes ME.
And you know what? I *like* me. I like my friends who are bigger than average in size. I don't care. I forget their size, their thighs, their weight, their (my) double chin....blah, blah, blah when I talk to tham and laugh with them and listen and look them in the eye. I really do. If you are seeing someone, truly *seeing* them, you can't be also looking at the outer shell. It ceases to be possible, in my experience.
Big boots and fishnets? Why not? I'm intrigued, not repulsed. I'm curious, not made uncomfortable.
Ugly. Hmmm. Yeah, society has those standards. We're suseptible to them. Me, too. But it's a choice. What's real ugliness? Rejection, exclusion, cruelty, insensitivity, unkindness - there the real ugliness lies. Seeing those things makes me feel ill.....not the contours of someone's face or body. Sounds to me like there's great beauty in you and the ugliness is coming toward you FROM those who are too scared to be accepting, kind, inclusive and sensitive. No matter, Ghost, you keep on striving till you find different people. How sad for those who pass you by...very sad for them to miss out on knowing Ghost.
I am a person who'd be very likely to strike up a conversation with you in public. I tend to focus on those who aren't like me - younger, older, fatter, thinner, richer, poorer hygiene, crazier {wink - that one's hard to find} etc., maybe because...I dunno. It's interesting, stimulating. Keeps me in tune with the human race as a WHOLE, not just my little, comfy segment who dress, talk act and believe just as I do. (Babble has actually helped me be more like that, too, with the differences that aren't physical.)
One of the fears I battle is that I'll overwhelm a stranger some day with my tendency to connect with everyone, everwhere. Perhaps I'm a bit disconcerting to others, 'cause I can be so friendly and open...? Ah, we each have something, don't we?
Ghost, I don't mean to discount your very real, life experiences, or minimize the pain. At ALL. I know it happens . Dinah's right - our society does care about looks. And the way that translates into behavior and the resulting hurt feelings sometimes just...well, it sucks. Totally. I know. As I've gotten older, gained weight, and gained fat where it oughtn't be, people (SOME) do treat me differently. They do, and it hurts - but more IF I dwell on it.
My point is...I'd talk to you. There are many others like me. I know it must seem like there aren't, but it's true. You hang in there. Smile at strangers a tiny bit if you can. You're young - don't give up on humans as a group. There's love and acceptance out there.
Wish I could go hang out somewhere with you right now....maybe laugh and be silly and take each other's minds off of our sadness and past stuff...sounds good to me. B2 will join us....more, too, I'll bet. (((ghost)))
poster:10derHeart
thread:594911
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060110/msgs/598423.html