Posted by Larry Hoover on May 23, 2006, at 9:07:48
In reply to Younger parts and pieces - trigger, posted by Daisym on May 23, 2006, at 0:05:58
> There are times when I no longer want to fight this fight of putting my pieces back together. Things are changing too rapidly and my youngest part can't handle it. I'm splitting all over the place and I thought I was more "super-glued" than this. I don't feel safe, I'm out of my body a lot and even therapy was strangely surreal today. I felt like the furniture was all slightly moved and just "off" -- and I told my therapist he felt so far away.
May I speak to you from my own disordered ego self?
May I suggest to you that you are on the edge of making it all okay?
All your pieces are starting to blur at the edges. The surreal experience is having two or more bits active at the same instant. Each has a distinct memory domain and a distinct mini-personality. When the blur feeling happens, you feel like you're not grounded properly. But that's because neither fragment is familiar with the other's domain. To each fragment, the other's experiences and memories are lost time. When you're in that blur, don't fight it. Embrace it. Group hug. Group hug your bits. Give comfort to each other. That's what each needs, but fears so much.
The blur is what fixed me, Daisy. It was the most horrific and scary thing I think I could imagine. I actually conceived it as what hell must really be. It was so horrid. Words fail to convey it. And you feel a smidgen of that horror, and are repelled by it. Very normal to recoil from that place.
Group hug. That's what my inner child fragment offers you. Love you, really hard, and hold on for your life. It will pass. For me, it felt like zippers closing. And when the process ended, it was simply over. Done is done. Zipped up is good.
I remember my sister coaching my ex-wife, at her first birth. I was in tears witnessing it, and I knew there was a lot more yet to come. My sister, in a moment of clarity, told her to "push towards where it hurts". The lightbulb went on, and 20 minutes later, Alex was born. So fast, the nurses went into total panic, as they thought it would be hours and hours yet. He crowned in less than five minutes, after that advice was given.
I'm thinking that maybe my experience might enlighten you, enough to let happen what needs to happen.
Blessings on you, Daisy.
Lar
poster:Larry Hoover
thread:647175
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060517/msgs/647237.html